Trying

OK. I can't believe I am going to type what I am about to type. That might make it feel really really real. I am actually literally nervous to type it out because then it is something more than a casual maybe iffee we will see kind of thing.

We. Are.Trying.

To get pregnant.

I can't believe it. I have spent the last almost ten years of my life trying to avoid getting pregnant. I used to make conversations about how sex would change if it were being performed for the purpose of procreation.

You wanna' know the really bad part? It took a conversation with my mom and her telling me she is ok with it before I was totally ok with it. I know my sister would just have a hey-day with that. I know I didn't need my mother's permission, but I feel much better now that I have it.

So I have quit smoking... I don't know if you can ever actually quit smoking, but I have stopped smoking. It was a hell of a lot easier than I expected, and I think that was because it wasn't for me. It was for my someday kiddo. They are way more important than smoking. I haven't completely quit drinking, I still have a cocktail every now and again and of course I drank at the bike weekend, but I have already cut back and as we progress that will go away too. This is only the second month I have been off birth control.

G is actually on board too. I thought it would take him longer to get OK with it, but he said he is OK. Last month I was off birth control by accident, but this month was a conscious choice made by both me and G. I happen to know I am ovulating right now, but I didn't share that with G... I am afraid if I tell him that much detail it will freak him out and make it too weird. I think this should just be fun and free for him. I can do the worrying for now. If this takes too long, then he can worry about some of the details with me, but for now, he just needs to enjoy.

So, any advice?? Should I start taking prenatal vitamins? Should I take fertility vitamins? Right now is the really casual not preventing stage... How long should we be in this stage before we move to a more serious stage of actively trying to get pregnant?

Also, I want to thank you bloggers. It is through reading from other mothers who were in the process of the Ph.D. that I finally decided I wasn't crazy to want this now. I have read about other women who could do this, so I think we can do it too. Maybe I am crazy, but I figure no one is completely ready, so why wait. I am really excited.

I even went online last night to look at a fertility calendar. That felt weird to do. Any other times I have thought about fertility was for the purpose of thinking about NOT getting pregnant. I even read about tips for increasing your chances to get pregnant. At other times in my life when I read those tips I would have done everything in my power to do the exact opposite. Lie with your hips up for 20 to 30 minutes after, huh... Before I would have analyzed that and figured out how to do the exact opposite, but not any more and that is a freeing feeling.

So I might not be able to blog about this much, I am just not sure... I hope that the trying part won't last too long. I am quite possibly the most impatient person alive, so you might read a lot about me getting tired of waiting. Oh well... I really want anyone who reads this and has some advice to share it. This isn't something I foresee myself talking about with people in the real world, so my people out in the blog world will be all I have. I hope to hear from you soon!!

ttfn