Friends or something like that...

In general, I feel so fortunate when I think about the friends that G and I have. We have some spectacular friends. Our friends generally go out of their way to be kind to us. Most of them. Most of the time.

But lately, G and I have been getting our feelings hurt by our friends, and I just don't know what to do about it.


G and I generally do most social things to which we are invited. Even when that means changing our plans that are usually cheaper and mean that we get to spend quality time together. We are usually somewhat amiable to do whatever the group wants to do. Our friends used to be that way, but lately not so much.

Just this weekend, while I was out of town, I talked to G while he was at our favorite bar, and I was shocked to find out that our friends had totally blown him off at the bar. He walked in, said hey, went to get his drink, socialized, the usual... The friends never made an attempt to spend time with him. I, being the overbearing wife that I am, even went so far as to ask the friends (via text) why they weren't talking to him, and they acted like, "oh, no big deal... We said hi as he walked in, but because he didn't run back to sit with us, we blew him off..." I am sure this hurt my feelings more than G's, but deep down it hurt his feelings too. And then there was the orange and blue game...


I posted a bulletin on the "gang's" page early last week asking about the game. Everybody was in except for one guy who had work to do... Then I went out of town, I assumed the plans would go ahead without me. But, on Friday night, the friends informed G that worker-guy had invited the other friends to go with him, leaving G in the cold for the game... Then when the others left in town for the game decided to go, they didn't call G and invite him until it was too late. He said he didn't want to meet them at the game and then play the game of trying to figure out where to meet up. That, again, hurt his feelings. He didn't say this out loud--as men don't really say things like that--but I knew he was hurt.

We have been going through things like this a lot lately. It has gotten to where if we don't do what "the cool kids" want to do, then they are ok with doing it without us. No compromise. It's their way or the highway. I just don't get that. We change our plans a lot to be with them, but they won't do that for us.


We have even found a new bar, closer to the house, cheaper prices, entertainment we like, but they aren't interested because this bar is beer only... Mind you, they drink beer occasionally but are usually liquor people. They complain about how much money they spend at our bar on those liquor drinks, so you would think that occasionally drinking beer and spending less money would be a good thing. I think if this had been their idea it would be ok...

Oh and the dinner thing... We all go out to eat a lot. We all need to save money. So when we invite worker boy to dinner, he often says he needs to save cash. But twice in the last month he has gone to dinner with another friend at a very expensive restaurant. When they invited us to this place, we said, no, we can't afford it. But they still go there... I even invited them over when I cooked, but they didn't want to come.


This really hurts my feelings and I don't know what to do about it other than just try not to let it bother me and appreciate the friends I have who don't hurt my feelings... But it still hurts my feelings.

Worker boy used to be our best friend. But, now that I think about it, he was our best friend when he needed us. He got his heart broken around new year's and for the first two months of the year we texted on a daily basis, went out for drinks at least three nights a week, rode bikes together every weekend, and really spent a lot of time together. Then, the one who broke his heart came back to him and now we are left in the cold.

I have tried to talk to him about it, but it hasn't seemed to work. The first few times I talked to him about it, he seemed to try to make an effort for a while. The last few times I talked to him about it, he hasn't really made an effort. I know I just need to give up. That is what G tells me to do.


It really hurts me feelings when all this goes on. It really hurts my feelings when they upset G. But it really makes me angry when they hurt G's feelings. He is the best friend a person could ever wish for! He is loyal and caring and would die for his friends. And these people are just throwing that away, and it makes me sad. And angry. I don't know what to do about it, so I am just writing to let out some of my frustrations. I hope I am just overreacting and that soon everything will be back to normal. But I am also afraid that they are going to piss G off to the point that he won't want everything to go back to normal...

I don't know... I am just going to end this by saying thank you. Thank you to the real friends that I have. Thank you to the people who don't care where we go or what we want to do, they just want to spend time with us. Thank you to the friends who need us. Thank you to the friends who accept us for who we are--geeky or fun or cool or none of the above. They just love us for us.


ttfn

oh and p.s. I wrote this for my myspace blog so I didn't even get into what my "friends" in the blog world mean to me. I really didn't even realize what a role this whole blogging thing would mean for me. I can't begin to describe what joy this brings to me. I love when I open up my gmail and see that I have comments on my blog. I love it that I feel like I really know people out in the blogsphere--even though I don't know the first names of most of them. I love it that I get to laugh out loud when I really need to laugh. This outlet for me has come to be a lot more than an exercise in writing... It really hit me while I was home with my parents this weekend just how big of a part in my life this blog really is. My parents have heard more about the blogs I read and their stories than about any of the "friends" I wrote about in the above post. Thank you my bloggy friends. You guys really mean a lot to me. I realize now that yall help me feel like I am not alone. The people who send me comments help me remember that I am likable and worth something. I really appreciate that more than I can express.

ttfn for real this time