Teaching and other stuff

So an update is so long overdue. I know most of you understand that my head is swimming in about a thousand other directions, but after a week of having the knowledge that I am actually growing a real human being inside me, I think it is time to sit down and let you folks know how I have been...

So, first let me tell you a little bit about my teaching. (haha I know you want preggo details, but I will get to that)

I think students who take classes in the first summer session are not as go-getter-ish as those who take classes in the second summer session. I do realize that my class is at 8 in the morning. They seem really pissed to be there at that hour. I am fairly pissed to be there at that hour, but I deal with it, and I don't think it is unreasonable to expect them to deal with it a little better!

Of my 50 or so students, 20 of them seem great, 20 of them seem to suck at life, and the other 20 are somewhere in between. They are learning though, and that makes me happy. They have now submitted 5 writing assignments. They turned in their first into essay and a resume and cover letter. Then, the media writing started.

Their first assignment was two brief news stories with no direct quotes taken from a hypothetical police report. They also had the opportunity to write a practice news story. Those were not bad at all. Some students actually wrote strong summary leads and used the inverted pyramid to organize the information from most important to least important. I was pleased overall.

Their second assignment was a brief news story with information from a "police report" as well as direct quotes from an interview (all info is provided to them on a fact sheet). Some students did even better on those than the first assignment. A few students regressed. Overall, though, I still feel good about their progress. I think they have a basic understanding of the basic news story. They understand how to attribute information. They get it that a fact sheet cannot speak and therefore they must use according to. They see how quotes provide a voice for the story. I am pretty pleased.

Today they had to write a soft lead and follow the feature style for the first time. I saw some really awesome soft leads as I looked over their shoulders in lab today. I also saw some really crappy ones, but soft leads are tough. I don't hold them to really harsh standards on their first try. I am really hopeful that they were able to take hypothetical notes from two interviews and create a story that is interesting and engaging. The only real bummer of today was that two of my best students were not there. One of them e-mailed me before class saying he was sick. The other one sent nothing, so I hope she hasn't dropped. I am letting the guy make it up but I am not sure what to do about the girl... I will probably have to decide that tomorrow.

And then the only other thing worth mentioning about my students right now is the two bad seeds I have seen so far. I think I weeded one out! So, before the semester started, my TA looked over the roster and told me that one of my lab students was in her lab last semester and was a real pain in the bootay. I kind of shrugged it off as problem students for others are something I can usually handle.

Wow was I wrong with this girl.

She had such a piss pore attitude and oooozed entitlement issues. She dropped the class last semester because she had her tonsils out but didn't go through the correct channels to make up her work and so when push came to shove she was going to make a bad grade in the class. She even got her mother involved in the fray!

Her Mother!

So, when she shows up into my class, she gives me this whole song and dance about how she got screwed last semester and how she was making an A up to Lab 7, so she didn't really see the point to participating until we get to the point she hasn't done... Give me a damn break. I very politely tell the student that she has a great opportunity to build upon the strong foundation she already has and because I am a different instructor and that this is a new class she will need to approach it as such--blah blah blah.

She missed at least half of the classes in the first two weeks, showed up late if she showed up at all, and was generally a pain in the ass when she was there. Luckily, she did very poorly on the first graded lab and didn't show up after that.

I don't like it that I am happy she is gone, but I am. I just don't like students who won't help themselves. I have LOTS of students who had to drop the class the previous semester. I am usually very successful with those students. I just don't feel like I owe any one student more than another. I give a lot to my students. I see my classroom as a family environment in which I will give 100% and I expect the same from my kids. If we all work really hard together, we will all come out better on the other side.

So that was my really bad seed. Then there was the asshat (thank you to whoever uses that term regularly in your blog. I can't for the life of me figure out who it is. If it is you, please speak up because it is kind of driving me crazy.) from the back of the room.

So I am in the middle of my lecture. I am randomly calling on students to participate. I got tired of the same five girls (whom I adore) in the front answering every question, so I start calling on the kids in the back. One young man looks kind of out of it, but he answered my question and seemed like he was tuned in.

But.

But, he had one of those blue-tooth ear pieces in his ear. I couldn't help myself, so I had to ask why.

Me: "Are you waiting on an important phone call?"
AssHat: "Uh... No, I, uh, am listening to music."
Me: (a little stunned) "In my class?!?" (pause for effect) "NICE" "So, a strong lead is one that draws the reader into the story and summarizes the most important aspect of the news..."

I am still unsure if I handled that the right way. He seemed only mildly embarrassed, but he hasn't had his big blue tooth thing in his ear since (although I do suspect he has had a smaller earbud type thing in his ear since then).

As a college instructor, what are my options here?? Do I ignore it? Do I kick his sorry butt out of my class? Do I demand he pay attention? Do I do nothing? I wasn't sure here.

But, other than those two doozies, I think this group is growing on me. I feel a little bad for them in that I have been mildly distracted by my new state... I think I am getting it together and will overcome last week's general craziness.

So, my new state. Okay, I admit it, I just am not ready to write all that much about it... But I will. Soon. Just a tease for now, when I do write I will talk about:

• my mom and how she is trying to help me be emotionally and mentally prepared should I miscarry... her way of doing this is by being somewhat distant about the little being inside me, calling it a group of cells, saying things like that baby isn't yours until it is here... more on that later.
• my husband and his so-called shock and awe phase and how it is lasting way too long for my taste.
• these weird cramps that I suspect are related to gas or poop but might not be so they still scare the crap out of me
• how annoyed I am that I don't get to see a doctor until June 21
• my general confusion with the gestational calendar week thingy... I think I am now in week 6, but the baby was only conceived like 3 weeks ago or so...
• how I am going to handle the dissertation and telling my advisor and what this means to my fellowship
• my general fears like how I don't even know how to bathe a baby... I can learn a lot of things from books, but I have GOT to find a class to learn some of the basics. I never babysat people. I am clueless! I am so afraid I will suck at this! But, at the same time, I am excited and certain I will figure it all out...

Ok, that will be another really long blog. I tried the short thing, I suck at it. Another long one will come soon. I hope to be able to talk about a few of these things in the near future. I see the endocrinologist tomorrow and the OB nurse Thursday... I will have news after those appointments I am sure.

ttfn

16 things about me

Okay, I have been tagged twice in one week!! I feel so loved. I still do promise a real post is coming soon. Probably tonight. I still haven’t gotten my head totally wrapped around my new life, and while I know writing about it will help, I am still waiting. But I am going to try tonight.

So, thanks to Jill at So Anyways for tagging me.

Here we go:

16 Random Things About ffbgirl's Growing Up Experiences

1. I was voted on… What I mean by that is that my sister (then 4 or 5 years old) and my dad say my mom down and said we want a little brother. They took a family vote, (I always joke that mom lost—haha) and 9 months later they got ME! My dad swears that he wanted a boy until he got to the hospital and saw the daddies with their little girls and he changed his mind—good thing!

2. We lived in Yukon, Okla., when I was born. That is the home town to none other than Garth Brooks. I think that is Yukon’s only claim to fame.

3. We moved to Bedford, Texas, when I was 2 ½. I only remember living in Texas, obviously, but I sure am glad we moved there! My mom took me everywhere with her—weekly breakfast with the neighbors, bridge, bowling, grocery shopping… We were buds!

4. I met my best friends, Shannon and Amy, in Daisy Scouts in kindergarten. Their mom was our troop leader. These two girls made (and still make) me feel like a million bucks! They are the greatest friends a girl could ask for! They were my friends when no one else wanted to be, and I am forever grateful for that!

5. This one is less fun, but true… In my grade school they didn’t have cooties, they had “Abby germs.” That was no fun at all!

6. When I was in first grade or so, I saved my sister’s life. We were roller skating in the neighborhood. Sally rolled down the driveway and fell. Hard. And stopped her fall with her wrist. She fell down, she cried, I freaked. But I ran across the street and knocked on the door of our nurse neighbor. The neighbor helped Sally and I have forever in my heart known that I saved her life.

7. I had fashion courage growing up. What that really means is that I wore whatever my mom and sister said looked cool. And what they said looked cool was not always the same thing kids in my grade thought were cool. I wore really cool psychedelic stretch pants. I had bell-bottoms before they came into fashion. I had this really awesome vest my mom brought back from SoHo. I loved all this. The kids at school didn’t so much.

8. I took dance lessons from first through sixth grade. I still can’t keep the beat or demonstrate any sense of rhythm.

9. I didn’t learn how to swim until the summer after first grade. The only reason I finally learned then was because my family was going to Cancun and my mom said I couldn’t go if I didn’t learn how to swim. Then, when we got there, I couldn’t even go in the ocean because of rip tides. But man I had fun in the hotel pool! m.

10. I was in Odyssey of the Mind in sixth grade. That was actually a ton of fun! We designed a “vehicle” that was self propelled and then we made up a skit about being in the future and how this vehicle worked in the future.

11. I was obsessed with the Babysitter’s Club books when I was a kid. It really paid off when I found out I was diabetic at age 13. One of the main characters, Stacey McGill, the treasurer, the one from New York, was diabetic. One entire book (maybe No.11) was about when she found out she was diabetic, what the symptoms were, how she dealt with it, and how it was all OK. I was fairly informed about the disease when I encountered it in real life, so it wasn’t as scary as it might have otherwise been.

12. Shannon, Amy (the twins I mentioned above), Shelley (my other best friend), and I spent about two weeks every summer at my grandma’s house from the time we were 8 or 9 until we were 15. It was always a ton of fun. Plus, my cousin is two years younger than us, but he always played on a baseball team with boys who were only one year younger than us… This meant we were always surrounded by LOTS of boys, and we loved that!

13. One of those summers we wrecked the golf cart. OK, let me be more honest, we wrecked that cart several summers, but one particular summer we actually got found out that we had wrecked it. We were so cute that we didn’t really get in much trouble, but my grandma loves to bring it up and bitch about it all the time…

14. My first car was a 1994 Ford Escort. It was mauve. My friends all called it pink. It was five speed and I loved it. It served me well until I rear-ended someone my senior year, then I got my honda. My honda was also fabulous. That sucker served me really well. I drove that thing to death. Literally. I wrecked that car last labor day. Now I have a POS that I am trying to sell. Anyone looking for a cheap POS??

15. I had braces. Twice. Who has braes twice?? The first time was during fourth grade and it was just on my top front four teeth. They were trying to pull those four closer together so as to make room for two more teeth I guess I really needed—haha. Then I survived an expander—yuck—and a lip bumper. This weird little device kept my bottom lip from pushing my bottom teeth in. Then, when all that was done, I got braces. Again. This time they were the real deal, all the way across, top and bottom. I was pretty lucky, though, I got done with them by ninth grade!

16. I wanted to try out for cheerleading, but my mom wouldn’t let me. Later in life she told me she knew the other kids would make fun of me so she prevented that from happening. My mom is freaking awesome!

Oh, I tag jitta and kilgore trout, and welcome YOU to join in the fun, too.

ttfn

I'm it

Okay, I realize anyone reading my blog is waiting for an actual post and update on my now very exciting life. I promise, it's coming. My head is still spinning and I just haven't been able to sit down and write about it all, but I promise I will.

I swear.

Very soon!

In the mean time, I have been tagged for the first time ever to do a meme. While I know I have done lots of memes, I have never actually been tagged! Thanks Lara, for popping my tag cherry!

So here goes:

So here I give you my list of 4's.

4 jobs I have held:
1. YMCA desk attendant
2. Old Navy and Gap cashier and customer service person (I don’t really know what my title was when I walked around and helped people find their sizes and what not)
3. Waitress at Eskimo Joe’s
4. Teacher (the best job I could have ever dreamed of having!!)


4 movies I can watch over and over:
1. The American President (Lara, I am keeping that one there, I LOVE THAT MOVIE!!)
2. Pretty Woman – Is it wrong that that was my favorite movie at age 8??
3. Cinderella – Gus Gus is so one of my favorite movie characters of all time!
4. Any of the three American Pie flicks (especially American Wedding – who else cried at “Nadia, I am the band geek, I just never joined the band.” ? That is quite possibly the best movie line EVER!)

4 places I have lived:
1. Bedford, Texas, from age 2 to 18
2. Fort Worth, Texas, for those years at Texas Christian University
3. Stillwater, Oklahoma, for those years at Oklahoma State University and the best years of my life—SO FAR (I have a feeling some really great ones are coming!!!)
4. Gainesville, Florida, for these years at National Champ U, I mean University of Florida


4 Categories of TV programming I enjoy:
1. Competition reality shows on Bravo (I even watched Top Designer and I am so NOT an interior design kind of person)
2. Cheesey, aimed-at-14-year-old-girl-shows on WB (now CW) like Seventh Heaven, Gilmore Girls, One Tree Hill, Reba, What I like About You, and Twins (where did that show go, I loved it!)
3. Cop shows (this is a new addition to my repertoire) like CSI Miami and Law and Order SVU… I think I only really like the spin offs, not the originals
4. What category is Grey’s Anatomy? That category. I am so hopeful about Kate Walsh’s new show!! Is Ugly Betty in the same category?


4 Places I have been on Holiday:
1. Stillwater, Oklahoma, is where I have spent the most holidays and vacations in my life.
2. Las Vegas baby!! That’s where I spent my honeymoon.
3. Alberta Creek, Durant, Oklahoma, is where my family owns a trailer at a fishing “resort” (only in Oklahoma do trailer and resort go in the same sentence) and where we go every year for a family fishing trip. I love that trip.
4. Daytona Beach, Florida. Bike Week and Biketoberfest were holidays. I won’t be doing bike holidays any more, but I am just not that sad about that!


4 of my Favorite Dishes:
1. Hamburger stroganoff
2. McDonald’s No. 1—big mac and fries w/a large diet coke – is that really a dish?
3. Chicken broccoli rice cheese casserole (Stouffer’s frozen version is best)
4. Soup (while a rather general “dish,” this is, I think, my favorite category of food)
**I feel compelled to point out the obvious here, I have really white-trash taste in food and this proves it!


4 websites I visit daily:
1. Gmail – duh (another one I have to steal from Lara)
2. Web CT for the class I am teaching
3. Myspace and Facebook
4. Since Wednesday and probably for the next 35 weeks, babycenter.com!!!


4 places I would rather be right now:
1. In Stillwater celebrating with friends and family (can you tell I REALLY love that place??)
2. In Bedford celebrating with family and friends
3. In Houma, Louisiana, celebrating with family and friends
4. Snuggling with the daddy-to-be (he’s at work)


4 other blogger buddies to do this meme:
1. Ali at Cheaper than Therapy (Ali might not know I exist, but I am tagging her none-the-less)
2. Mrs. Chili at A Teacher’s Education (another one who might not read my blog, but I love reading hers)
3. Nikki at Now What the Hell do I do? (I am hoping she will send me some new mom advice, and I at least think she reads here occasionally…)
4. Labor Nurse at The Life and Times of a Labor Nurse (not I really don’t think she knows I exist, but I really like her blog and I really want info from her over the next 35 weeks so here’s a selfish tag if I have ever seen one).
**Another thing I have to point out here, I LOVE the women who share their lives and let me read their blogs. I love them so much that even though most of them don't even know I exist, I consider them my bloggy friends. Is that weird?


And, yes, a real post is coming soon! I swear!

ttfn

HOLY COW!!!

WE ARE PREGNANT!!!!

Very few people actually know, but I am excited so I just had to share with my bloggy pals!! It is SOOOOO early and I shouldn't even be telling anyone yet, but I can't keep a secret for crap.

My Town

I wasn't tagged for this, but I volunteered for this one. I am not going to tag anyone either (mainly because I have no confidence that more than three people regularly read this thing), but I would LOVE IT if anyone who wants to will play too. Consider it a birthday present to me (that's right, my big fabulous wonderful birthday is Monday--the 21st! woo-hoo I love my birthday... oh right, meme)...

The Rules:

Add a direct link to your post below the name of the person who tagged you. Include the state and country you’re in.

List out your top 5 favorite places to eat at your location (locally).

Tag 5 other people (preferably from other countries/states) and let them know they’ve been tagged.

My 5 favorite places to eat locally:

1.) Harry's. This fabulous little Cajun/seafood joint is pretty darned great! I will say it can be pricey, but it is usually worth it. My hubbie just dies for their jambalaya, and I am pretty fond of the etoufe (crawfish is best). The good news is, there are very few things we have eaten there that weren't great. And we eat there almost once a week, so we have tried a lot of things! It is fairly casual, the waitstaff is generally great, and it has prime-time location--next to Lillian's Music Store, my favorite bar these days!

2.) Dragonfly Sushi. This grand sushi place lives up to all the hype! This is another one that can be pricey, but if you play your cards right, it doesn't have to be. This place's whole gig (so they say) is to encourage sharing and family-style dining. So, the key here is for each person to pick just one or two things off the menu and for everyone to share share share! I highly recommend the Fire Me Up Wasabi Role, Gator Role, Crunch Role, and their cooked food isn't bad either! D'Fly also has prime location in Downtown, so that's pretty nice too!

3.) Conestoga's. Now this is actually in the next town over, but it is worth the drive! This is a great little country dining experience. You can get liver'n'onions (I refuse to do so, but for those who dig that yuk, I hear it's good), fried catfish, big'ol baked potatoes, sandwiches, burgers, and one of the best steaks I have had at a non-steakhouse kind of place... What I mean by that is that my mom and dad did a terrible thing to me and took me to lots of fancy (expensive) steak houses while I was growing up. I only ate fillet before I met my husband (and really still try to stick to that rule), and I only ate it at the kind of steak houses where your steak comes ala carte. So this little country bumkin kind of place didn't seem like the steak place for me, but man am I glad I took a chance and ordered the tenderfoot. It was spectacular!! Bottom line, it's all good there!

4.) Ashley's Pub. Here's the great thing about this place. You can get pub food or tex-mex! I am sure most of you are puzzled at this point, I know it sounds strange. But, when you are a tex-mex addict (which I am) and you are married to a man who detests tex-mex (but loves a great burger), this place is just too great! The only real downside to the place is that you have to pay for chips and salsa, which I think is a crock, but other than that the prices aren't bad, the food's always good, and the staff is friendly and accommodating. And did I mention peach margies?? Oh yeah, they have fabulous flavored margies (on the rocks, though). They also serve regular margies in the hugest glass/punch bowl thing I have ever seen. It comes with a ladle. I am all about mexican food and booze!

5.) **WARNING**OK, this last one is not actually in my town. It is in the town in which I used to live. I include it here for many reasons. If you get the chance to check this place out, consider yourself lucky!
Eskimo Joe's. I don't actually recommend this place because of the food, because the food just isn't all that great. I recommend this place because of the sentimental value it holds for me and so many other OSU alum. I will say their cheese fries (within the first five minutes of arrival at the table) are fabulous--so fabulous in fact that Barbara Bush made Bush Sr. endorse them while he was in office... The other thing you have to eat while at Joe's is a Little Joe. Now all of their burgers are actually great, so you can't go wrong with a burger. But, the Little Joe is a hangover cure in a sac. It is about the size of a McDonald's hamburger, it comes with MOP--mustard, onions (grilled into the patty), and pickles. You can get cheese. It is a very simple little classic. They are grilled on a flat grill (so no yucky flame broiled goo) and they are just great. It might take two or three to really kill the hangover, but they hold a special place in my heart.

Previous players:

Nicole (Sydney, Australia)

Velverse (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia)

LB (San Giovanni in Marignano, Italy)

Selba (Jakarta, Indonesia)

Olivia (London, England)

ML (Utah, USA)

J (California, USA)

CuriosityKiller (Hong Kong, SAR)

Shelli (Minnesota, USA)

Bluepaintred (Saskatchewan, Canada)

Avitable (Florida, USA)

Amy (California, USA)

Luin (New York, USA)

Tense Teacher (Mississippi, USA)

ffbgirl (Florida, USA)

ttfn

p.s., I am starving now!!

Much love to Tense Teacher for this fun little meme!

A car pet

OK, Lara, of Life: The Ongoing Education, has had a tragedy in her world. She has lost her dear friend and pet, Melvin. Foul play is suspected in this tragic loss, but I am encouraging her to move onward and upward.

In light of the dangerous conditions in which Melvin may have suffered, I propose an alternative option for the next member of the family (they really are family members, right?)...

So, here he is... MT, Melvin Two. I think he will be able to fend off Ramon and handle the conditions of their environment. Lara, I hope this helps!

ttfn

My favorite day(s) of the year

THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!!!

I love the first day of school, and I have since I was little! Yesterday was that day for the summer session in which I am teaching. It went fabulously! I am proud to say, I think I nailed it!

We went over the syllabus (which I didn't make copies of and hand out, I posted it on WebCT and told them to print it out at home. Was that bad?), went over the goals for the course, talked about who I am and where I come from, learned about the required materials, and that was about it.

Then today was the second day of classes and it still went pretty well. I did have at least five our of 60 students come to me because they didn't come to class yesterday. I really have a problem with students who can't bother to show up on the first day--call it my own personal pet peeve. I hope by the time I am a seasoned professor, word will get out not to miss the first day of my classes. I am going to find a way to reward those who show up and punish those who don't. I don't know what or how, but I will.

I teach a lab this afternoon, and then the first rotation is over! Woo-hoo! Time really flies in summer sessions.

I am going to end this here because I worry that my blogs are way too long so I am going to try a short and sweet approach. I make no promises, I am a talker, but I am going to try to be to the point. I hope you like it!

ttfn

Real Mom Truths IV

And now for the crowning jewel of the series, real moms do it all.

My mom really has done it all for me. She is also my best friend. I know I can count on her to be honest when I need her to, but I also know she can usually hold her tongue if the situation calls for it. My mom is just amazing.

As I approach putting into words the real mom truth about my mom, I struggle to do her justice. I just know I can’t paint an accurate picture of what she means to me and how much she means to me and just how truly amazing she is. Words just won’t do, but I am going to give it a try.

My mom tells it that when I was little, we were pretty much inseparable. I think that is why I am so at ease in most social situations. Mom treated me like a little person. We were buds and still are.

Remember those yucky years of grade school? Mom was part of the reason I made it out of that ok. She told me the kids were mean to me because they were jealous that I was so smart and pretty. Little did she know that I was self-righteous enough as a little girl to tell the kids at school just that (I found out in high school that this only fueled their fire). She let me demonstrate my uniqueness in how I dressed and when kids were mean about it, she came up the concept of fashion courage.

She encouraged me to pursue wherever my interests took me. When I wanted to be a writer, she told me I could do that. When I wanted to be a lawyer, she told me I could do that. When I wanted to become a journalist, she told me I could do that, too. She taught me that I can be whatever I want to be, as long as I work hard. It is from her that I learned my ideals about equality. She always told me that as a woman I deserve the same rights and responsibilities as any man. She really taught me that I deserved anything for which I was willing to work.

She also ingrained in me my spirit of doing the right thing because it is the right thing. She taught me to be efficient—a lesson learned through putting away the dishes and being told not to touch things twice when I don’t need to. She taught me to work hard and play hard. She taught me to laugh every day. That is one lesson for which I am eternally grateful. My mom taught me a lot of this by setting a good example.

Part of that good example was the one she set of being a good wife. I know I am not the world’s greatest wife, yet. That yet is the key word there. I have heard stories that maybe my mom wasn’t the greatest wife in the world one or two years in, but she sure is now—and has been for most of my life. My mom has taught me a lot about being respectful of your husband, remembering that he is the head of the household, and treating him with as much love and compassion as you would like from him. My mom is fiercely loyal to my dad. She is his biggest asset. That is another lesson she has taught me, to be his biggest asset. Mom always talked about business functions she would attend and how as his wife, she had an important role to play. I try to remember that now.

My mom also taught me the importance of friendship in a marriage. Her dad taught her that if you have two close friends in this world to consider yourself lucky, but my mom showed me that she could always count on my dad for friendship. I think that is part of what makes our family work—friendship. We are all friends and so I feel like we don’t “need” so badly for others to accept us. I really try to make friendship a top priority in my marriage.

At our wedding, I played a special dedication to my mom, Somebody’s Hero. This great song starts out talking about a woman who may never have had a nine-to-five job but has been a waitress and a cook and a taxi driver. The song chronicles the love of a mother who picks up cheerios and kisses skinned knees. It celebrates how this mother is her little girl’s hero. Then the song goes on to talk about how this mother prepared her little girl to be a grown up and their interactions on her wedding day. This verse shows how the little-girl hero-worship has grown into a more mature understanding of the mom and how the mom remains her little girl’s hero. It ends with a verse about the daughter going every day to see her mother in the nursing home, brushing her hair and feeding her. It reverses the roles and eludes to the fact that now the daughter is the mom’s hero.

My mom is still this little girl’s hero.

I played that for my mom and I gave her the lyrics because that song really put into words a lot of my feelings for my mom. I am not sure that she totally got it that I really mean what that song is talking about. My mom really is my hero. As I grow older and I learn a little more about life, I value her even more. I appreciate where she has been and where we have been together. I am so thankful that she is my best friend. She plays such a huge role in my life.

We talk on the phone every day. She understands when I am moody, tired, or even suffering from PMS. I understand when she is moody, tired, or suffering from hormonal changes of menopause. She knows before any one else if something isn’t quite right in my world—often before I even figure it out. She is my biggest advocate and captain of my cheering squad! I know I can count on her for anything—even the little things I don’t always know I need.

If Amy is my mini-me, I am my mom’s mini-me. We are so alike it is scary. We are sensitive but won’t show it to just anybody, we are fun loving but fairly simple, and we are selfish in some ways but so giving in others. Our biggest difference is our roles as sisters. Mom is the big sister in their duo. She understands the ways that Sally protects me because that is what she does for Cheryl. She knows the pains Sally has endured in being the big sister.

My goal in everything I do is to make her proud. I have given her an opportunity or two to be less than proud of me, but she always finds a way to see the good in me. Making her (and my dad) proud is really my driving force to do anything that I have done thus far. The best part of accomplishing anything is knowing that they are proud of me for that accomplishment. I get just as much joy out of calling my mom and telling her I got a paper accepted to a conference as the joy I get out of opening the acceptance letter myself. I have to go far in life. I owe them that. I also know that I can go far in life because they have provided for me a solid foundation from which I can continue to grow and learn.

Oh and her mom abilities. That is what this is all about, right? If everything else hasn’t shown you what a spectacular real mom my mom is, let me tell you a little bit about the ways she has inspired me to be a good mom myself…

She made it seem really easy when I know it wasn’t. I talk about how I know I can be a mom because my mom did it. I really hope that doesn’t come out in a way that makes her look bad. She gave me the skills I need to be a mom, I just know it. She was such a fabulous mom that I think I will be able to handle it—okay, maybe not handle it, but that it won’t kill me. When I say I know I can do it because my mom did it, that doesn’t tell the whole story. I highly doubt I will be able to do it as well or with as much grace as my mom did it, but because of the excellent job she did, I have faith that I, too, can raise some pretty fabulous kids.

So this series was my salute to the real moms who have had a profound impact on who I am. You can probably see that these women have also had an impact on each other. I hope I make each of them proud with this blog (even though I don’t want them on my blog—this is anonymous). I know I have not done them justice with my salute, but this was my best effort.

So happy mother’s day.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms in the world, but especially to these four fabulous women.

Real Mom Truths Part III

So far we know real moms find a way to make it work and teach the hard lessons. What else does this non-mom know about real moms?

Real moms like you when they don’t have to, when they probably shouldn’t, and when no one else will. While I know my grandma, my aunt, and my mom have all played this role for me, my sister has really been the one who will always embody this truth in my life.

Being my sister has not always been easy or fun, but it is a job I know my sister cherishes, and I am so thankful that she does. I cannot accurately convey just how amazing my sister is. She is the best person in my life. She is that person that everyone likes. She is that person who is there for a friend in need, whether it’s there to pick up the pieces or there to celebrate a victory, or even there to sit back with, she can always be counted on to be there.

She is my best friend. At times in my life when I just knew that no one else even wanted to see my face, she embraced me. As I write this, tears run down my face as I think of the love and friendship she has always given me. I cannot even begin to do her justice with the writing of this entry.

Oh where do I begin? Let me start with her selflessness. She really is the most selfless person I know. When her marriage and family were very young, times were tough. My grandma and grandpa welcomed Sally’s young family into their home and gave them opportunities that have allowed their family to flourish and grow. Although Sally doesn’t live with Grandma anymore, she still lives nearby (OK, let’s be honest, she lives next door now, but even when she didn’t live right next door, she never lived far away). They share a bond and a love that is so strong. I mentioned before the amazing relationship Grandma has with my neice, well this began when they all lived together. But Sally really takes care of Grandma. Sally knows Grandma and understands her in a way that I certainly don’t—and even in a way that, I think, only Sally and Grandma “get.” Just like in your family, moms and grandmas can seem a little odd or annoying… Sally is always the one who can figure out how we can all get along. Sally is the one who likes any one of us when no one else will.

She takes her liking of “the unlikable” to a professional level, in my mind. She and her husband have owned and operated a family game store for the last two years. By game store I don’t mean Xbox and Playstation, I mean board games, role playing games—of Dungeons and Dragons fame--, dice games, and all sorts of non-electronic games. This is where Sally’s ability to like anyone for who they are really shows. We all know the stereotypes of the kinds of people who play D&D… While some of those stereotypes are untrue, the idea that geeks and weirdos play these games is not always far off the mark. But these “geeks and weirdos” of all ages feel right at home in their store. Sally doesn’t treat these game enthusiasts any differently than she treats my so-called cool-kid friends.

They recently announced that they would be closing their store. While this was a big deal for their family, Sally was really burdened by the fact that this community of misfits would no longer have a healthy and welcoming place to gather. She really fretted about taking away this “clubhouse” of sorts for that group in her community. Now mind you, this store has demanded more time and energy than any one person (or two—her and her husband) should devote to anything, but they did it. And Sally did it with a welcoming smile.

I would spend time in her store and just be in awe of the way she interacts with her “customers.” I put that in quotes because Sally treated these people not as sources of revenue, but rather as her friends. She was a friend to people who probably only had precious few, and I am confident her friendship with these people was, and continues to be, genuine (possibly something she learned from my Grandma??).

It has been a running joke in my family that my sister is my “real” mother. Now that joke bears no reflection on the amazing mothering my mom did, but rather is a reflection on the way my sister loves me. She really does love me in a mother-like way. Her love for me is unconditional, and I know that. We are so lucky that our mom engendered in us this appreciation for our sister. I see in my mom and my aunt a lot of the relationship my sister and I have. They are still best friends, and I know Sally and I will spend our whole lives as best friends. Sally is almost six years older than me, and, I guess, when I came along she just took me on as her own.

I will never forget the days of grade school when in my grade we didn’t have cooties, we had abby-germs. I was like the common cold of the elementary school—nobody wanted me. I was so deeply sad and full of confusion about why I felt like I should just “go eat worms” (you know the song). Here was the confusion though… At home, I was a super star! They all loved me and liked me. Especially Sally. She played with me when none of the neighborhood kids would. She told me I was cool, that I had “fashion courage,” and that she liked me. It is amazing to me how deeply unhappy I was in one area of life—that out of the home, yet I was perfectly content inside the home. I really have my whole family to thank for that, but my sister saved me. I cannot really even explain just how important her acceptance and love was and continues to be to me.

I was filling out one of those “about me” e-mails the other day and it asked about a favorite childhood memory. At the time I couldn’t come up with one, but now I remember. I was probably in second grade, so that meant Sally was in eighth. They had some function at the junior high, a play or talent show, I think. Sally and all her cool friends were at the house and getting all dolled up for the event. To this day I don’t know exactly why, but Sally invited me to join them. She dressed me up in this awesome black skirt and white blouse. She fixed up my hair and maybe even put make up on me. She made me feel like the coolest kid in the world. So she and her friends took me with them to this super-cool junior high event. I don’t remember a thing about the play, but I remember knowing I was cool and that I was worth hanging out with. My sister said so.

And now we are all grown up (Okay, I am refuse to accept that I am all grown up, but she is for sure). She is an amazing mother to two fabulous kiddos. Her almost-9-year-old-daughter, Amy, is my mini-me. I attribute this to the influence Sally had on me growing up and how she has that same influence on Amy. Up to now I haven’t mentioned one important characteristic of my sister. It is one thing that makes her unlike me, my mom, or my aunt. Sally has an amazing amount of self confidence. She is doing a great job of passing that self confidence on to her daughter. Amy is bright and inquisitive, she is determined and disciplined, she is fun and outgoing, and she is bossy and sassy. She really is a mix of all the good (and some of the bad) things about all the women in our family.

Sally also has a 2-year-old son, Ethan. Unfortunately, I don’t know Ethan all that well yet (they live in Oklahoma, I live in Florida), but what I do know of him is that he is just an awesome little boy. And he is all boy! He is rambunctious and rowdy and all those boy things that scare the crap out of me. But he is also sweet and loving and kind, and loves his mama something fierce!

While I do aspire to be a mom, I am not really a kid person. Sally is hesitant to let me babysit for too long—I just don’t have the patience. But Christmas ’05, Amy got to spend the week at my mom and dad’s, and it just so happened to be the week I was spending there. We knew it would be a challenge. Amy and I are so alike that we often but heads. I did surprisingly well. And you wanna’ know the secret?

W.W.S.D.?

What Would Sally Do?

That is all I kept telling myself that week, and it got us all through without any major issues. Sally is really great about picking her battles with the kids. She is patient and kind and gentle. Those were all things I tried to be that week. Since then, the whole WWSD thing has kind of become my motto in life.

I have yet to meet a person who doesn’t at least like Sally. Most people adore her. So, I figured she had something figured out that I don’t. So, I really do try to be more like her every day. When we moved to Florida three years ago, I got a fresh start. I was somewhere where no one knew me. I could be whoever I wanted to be. So, I chose to be me—a nicer, dare I say kinder gentler, me. And WOW! It is so amazing to be a nice person. I am so thankful that I can model my behavior after my sister and see that people really respond to that. What’s even better is that now it isn’t really modeling. I am proud to say that I am not all that different from her when it comes to being friendly, positive, kind, and loving!

So real moms like you when they don’t have to. That’s an important one. I am hopeful that G and I will be able to have kids. While I will be so thankful even to have one, I so hope this old body will hold up to have two. I would be so sad for my child to not know the love and friendship that I share with my sister. That love and friendship is probably the most valuable thing in my world.

Real Mom Truths Part II

So more real mom truths… That is what this is all about, right?!

My aunt Cheryl is probably the person in our extended family whom I am most like. She is outgoing and boisterous, at times unsure of herself, always ready to go the distance, a little lot bossy, and full of fun and joy and love. As I have gotten older, I have really learned to appreciate her life experiences and her willingness to share with me some hard-learned lessons. She is the one I think of when I am fighting hard to tell that ugly little voice in my head—you know the one that says I am unlovable, unlikable, and unworthy—to shut up. She has told me time and again that I am lovable, likable and worthy. I know she means that. She knows what it is like to hear that voice.

She might not always admit it to most people, but she and I are so lucky to share that bond… The bond of battling with yourself to love yourself. I have even learned from her how to “look” like I have quieted that voice. So although she isn’t my mom, she is a mom, and this real mom teaches even the hard lessons.

She has been the one to tell me how it is, like it is. She was the one who looked me and my 14-year-old-girlfriends in the eye and said, “If your first time is in the back seat of some car, it’s gonna’ hurt and you aren’t gonna’ like it.” Period. You betcha’ that not a one of us lost that V-card in the back of some guy’s car. She taught us that we were to be respected. She showed us that men (and boys) should be expected to act toward us and speak to us in a respectful manner.

She has taught me more than just to demand respect from the men folk… She has taught me a lot about how to be a wife. She once told me, when speaking to your husband, you can talk to the king or you can talk to the fool—but you’re gonna’ get the one you talk to. I really try to remember that. Seeing as Cheryl is just as bossy as I am, we sometimes need to remember that rule.

I rely on the many life lessons she has taught me. I hope I can be an honest and frank with my children (or maybe my niece) as she has always been with me. She is brave and strong and smart. I am proud to call her my aunt and my friend.

Real Mom Truths Part I

I brainstormed about a "Real Mom Truths" post and realized I couldn't talk about real moms without talking about the 4 best real moms I know... Here is part I of the series.

I know a few truths about real moms. I, myself, am not yet a real mom, but I am so blessed to have as role models four of the strongest women this world is lucky to have. These four women have influenced each other—and me—in so many ways that define who we are as women.

So on to some real mom truths.

Real moms find a way to make it work. My grandma is the loving mother of four, grandmother to 12, great grandmother to 11. She raised kids in times that were not always easy, but she found ways to make it work. She has taught us to live our lives in Christ-like ways. When times were hard for her and her family, Grandma did things like taking in ironing and laundry to help make ends meet. She found ways to keep her kids happy and healthy. Proof of her mothering is, as they say, in the pudding… My mother and my aunt are two of the strongest, bravest, most intelligent, and most loving women I am blessed to know. They have streaks of my grandma in them—whether it’s the occasional firey temper or the tenacity and determination with which any new task must be met. These are the kinds of things my grandma has instilled in all of us.

My grandma is selfless. She devotes herself to her community—she is an advocate for the seniors of her town. She is active in her church and finds little and big ways to help those in need. She does these things simply because it is who she is.

She devoted endless hours to helping raise us grandkids, and now she does the same with her many great-grandkids. Her relationship with my niece is one to be admired. They share a closeness that will bring my niece memories and lessons for her entire life.

I, too, will have memories and lessons for my entire life. I am so lucky to have never met a stranger. My grandma taught me that every new person we encounter on this earth is simply a friend we have yet to make. I live by that mantra. Whether it is through my interactions with students or the way I behave at academic conferences or even how I act at biker events. I have friends everywhere, my grandma told me so. My grandma instilled in me a confidence (although sometimes I think of it more as a craziness) to strike up conversations with anyone I encounter. This ability has gotten me things and places in life. I am so grateful to have that skill, and it is one I hope to pass on to my children.

Blog Reader Survey

Check out my reader survey... I have no clue how many readers I have, but I took the survey and thought it was interesting, so I want to see some results on people who stumble onto my blog. I am a social scientist, I can't help myself!! Check it out!

Please take my blog reader survey!

ttfn

Art or Not?

I took a bazillion pictures while I was in Germany last summer, and the more I think about it the more proud I am of some of the pictures I took...

But what the hell do I know?

So this is where you come in. Do you think either of these photos have any artistic merit?

If you have any photography know how, did I "do it right?"

If you have no photography expertise, are either of these aestetically pleasing?

Please vote in the comments section.

I was thinking about having the first one (of the flower) blown up and put in a frame for my mom for mother's day... I know I am running late, but while I know she will like it because I took it, will it be something she should display in her house (for reasons other than those that compel mothers to put finger paintings on the fridge)?

What do you think?

ttfn

My Class

I am going to start teaching in one week!! Woo-Hoo! I am so excited!

On May 14, Summer A session starts and so too starts my adventure in teaching. I have played with the schedule and tried to balance out the two halves of the semester. I also made sure that we will have covered the information needed for each lab, before that lab day. This was a little bit different than last year. Last summer, labs were on both M/W and T/R, with two labs per week. This year they are only on T/R with two labs per week. This means I can cover things for lab on Monday and know that all students will have an afternoon to absorb that information before they have to apply it in lab. Last summer, there were occasions when students on the first day of the lab rotation had to hear a lecture and then immediately apply that information in the lab. I am hoping this set up is better.

I will also have an instructor teaching two of the labs. I had an instructor last summer, too. I am really really hopeful this summer's TA is better than last. Last summer, I had a guy who had never taught the class and who's area of interest was in online media TA-ing. He got the gig because he is chummy with the department chair. This summer, I have a girl who TA-ed the course all year long and got the gig becauseshe is chummy with the course coordinator. I am really hopeful that she works out better. You see, last summer the TA was less fastidious than I am. As such, his lab students had higher scores than mine did. As such, my labs were "harder" than his. My students also learned more. But it isn't fair to his lab students (or from a student perspective, it isn't fair to my lab students). So, I am going to meet with her and talk with her about her philosophy on teaching this class.

I am a little worried about doing that. I know working with women can be a challenge. Especially for me. I tried to be very laid back and easy going last summer. That back fired. I don't want to be all uptight and overbearing this summer. I want to find a happy medium.

This student, I think, is a master's student (at the end of her first year), so she is barely older than the students she will be teaching (just like I was when I started). I want to make sure she is as demanding as I am. I want to make sure that my lab and her labs run in a very similar manner. I want to ensure that her grading and my grading are very similar. Do you think it would be too much to ask her to meet with me for grading early in the session? Anyone reading this, PLEASE PLEASE I beg of you, give me your opinion on this. PLEASE!!!????!?!

ttfn

I am such a weird-o!

Tator and Tot played this fun game and said I could play too!

So, without further adieu,

7 Weird Things About Me:

1. I am afraid of sewage drains.

2. I prefer to peel pickles before I eat them.

3. I pick up my feet when I drive over railroad tracks--even on the motorcycle (so yes, I am superstitious).

4. I try to avoid getting out of my jammies on Sundays (is this weird or just lazy?)

5. I have a nervous tick-like habit of playing with my jewelry--whether it's the diabetic med-alert charm on my necklace or the clasp to my earrings, I always fidget with them.

6. I blow bubbles in my captn'n'diet coke because it brings the rum up from the bottom of the glass so my first swig isn't straight liquor (I learned this one from my mom who does this with sonic drinks).

7. I have to fold my clothes like I did when I worked at Gap and Old Navy--there are rules to folding jeans and t-shirts and they MUST be followed (I am slightly OCD about certain things, but few of those things are related to house work, so to me this one is weird)!

If you decide to play along, leave me a comment so I can learn weird things about all my readers!!

ttfn

My visual DNA

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

And thanks to Susan of Tales of a 9th grade Tuba Player for Wasting Time so I could find this...

More kudos to Lara

Okay, I know I have posted about her in the past and I really worry that I am going to appear all single white female, but I swear, this is honest to God, from my heart.

Lara, of Life: The Ongoing Education, freaking rocks my socks off! I just cannot say enough good things about this woman! She makes an effort to comment on my blog every day. She is just so supportive and loving and really just an amazing friend to me. It makes me wish we didn't live across the country from each other. It also makes me wish I was a better blog friend to her.

Every morning I go to my email and am always giddy with excitement when I see a new comment from her (I am excited when I see any one's comments, but hers are usually the one that I can always count on to be there... if that makes sense). She is just so amazing!

I know, from reading her blog, she has her own life to worry about (and even devotes time to what her roommate has to worry about), but she still takes the time to send me words of encouragement. She just makes me feel loved and I am so appreciative!!

She is the best blogging friend a person could ask for. Beyond that, her blog freaking rocks socks too! She is such a great writer. She always finds the right way to say things. And she says them in a way that makes you want to keep reading.

My RSS feed has gotten rather lengthy, and, as a result, I have to usually pick and choose which ones I get to read daily and then which ones I catch up on when I have more time. Hers is one in the "must read daily" category. Her writing is just great, and I feel like I am missing something if I go a day or two without reading.

I just want to say thank you to Lara. She is really a valuable asset to the blogging world (and the real world too, but my interactions are limited to the blog world). Her comments are always kind and positive. Her writing is always inspiring. She is a committed friend who takes time to check in on her blog friends. She is just an amazing woman whom I aspire to be more like.

If you read my blog and you didn't stumble over to me from Lara's blog, go check her out. She is a rock star. She is my blog hero. I am just so thankful for her.

ttfn

Trying

OK. I can't believe I am going to type what I am about to type. That might make it feel really really real. I am actually literally nervous to type it out because then it is something more than a casual maybe iffee we will see kind of thing.

We. Are.Trying.

To get pregnant.

I can't believe it. I have spent the last almost ten years of my life trying to avoid getting pregnant. I used to make conversations about how sex would change if it were being performed for the purpose of procreation.

You wanna' know the really bad part? It took a conversation with my mom and her telling me she is ok with it before I was totally ok with it. I know my sister would just have a hey-day with that. I know I didn't need my mother's permission, but I feel much better now that I have it.

So I have quit smoking... I don't know if you can ever actually quit smoking, but I have stopped smoking. It was a hell of a lot easier than I expected, and I think that was because it wasn't for me. It was for my someday kiddo. They are way more important than smoking. I haven't completely quit drinking, I still have a cocktail every now and again and of course I drank at the bike weekend, but I have already cut back and as we progress that will go away too. This is only the second month I have been off birth control.

G is actually on board too. I thought it would take him longer to get OK with it, but he said he is OK. Last month I was off birth control by accident, but this month was a conscious choice made by both me and G. I happen to know I am ovulating right now, but I didn't share that with G... I am afraid if I tell him that much detail it will freak him out and make it too weird. I think this should just be fun and free for him. I can do the worrying for now. If this takes too long, then he can worry about some of the details with me, but for now, he just needs to enjoy.

So, any advice?? Should I start taking prenatal vitamins? Should I take fertility vitamins? Right now is the really casual not preventing stage... How long should we be in this stage before we move to a more serious stage of actively trying to get pregnant?

Also, I want to thank you bloggers. It is through reading from other mothers who were in the process of the Ph.D. that I finally decided I wasn't crazy to want this now. I have read about other women who could do this, so I think we can do it too. Maybe I am crazy, but I figure no one is completely ready, so why wait. I am really excited.

I even went online last night to look at a fertility calendar. That felt weird to do. Any other times I have thought about fertility was for the purpose of thinking about NOT getting pregnant. I even read about tips for increasing your chances to get pregnant. At other times in my life when I read those tips I would have done everything in my power to do the exact opposite. Lie with your hips up for 20 to 30 minutes after, huh... Before I would have analyzed that and figured out how to do the exact opposite, but not any more and that is a freeing feeling.

So I might not be able to blog about this much, I am just not sure... I hope that the trying part won't last too long. I am quite possibly the most impatient person alive, so you might read a lot about me getting tired of waiting. Oh well... I really want anyone who reads this and has some advice to share it. This isn't something I foresee myself talking about with people in the real world, so my people out in the blog world will be all I have. I hope to hear from you soon!!

ttfn