Wow, that was quite the hiatus. Alot has happened since my last post. I had to take a little break until I felt comfortable enough to post things about my life again. For my returning readers, you will see I made a few changes and spruced the place up a little bit.
So let me catch you up with some short short stories.
1. the husband was, in fact, cheating on me, and he and his girlfriend (and her two daughters) now live in my house.
2. I filed for divorce as early as I could (did you know you can't file for divorce in Texas while you are pregnant?) and he has been dragging ass, I suspect as a way to prolong not paying child support.
3. I am still teaching part time and enjoying that, but I have recently been hired to do training and documentation for claims compliance at an insurance company. Right now I don't really know what exactly that means, but I know it means a steady paycheck and benefits, which are good things!
4. The pregnancy was fabulous!! I loved being pregnant... In spite of all the drama going on in my life, I was a happy preggo. I am going to post the few blogs I wrote on myspace about the drama while I was pregnant, just to keep you up to date.
5. And this one won't be a short short story. This one is my whole life. This one is Eleanor Logan.
She was born Jan. 8, 08 at 8 p.m. via c-section. She is healthy and happy and just plain fabulous. I am madly in love with her! So, the birth story...
I went into the hospital at 10:30 a.m. Tuesday (1/8/08) and they started inducing labor because they were concerned that she hadn't been gaining weight in the womb. I labored until about 7:30 p.m., but the doc didn't feel like I was making enough progress so we decided to do a C-section. It only took them less than 30 minutes to get me into the OR and get going on getting her... It was a little scary, but not that bad. She weighed 7 pounds 1.6 oz and was 19.5 inches long. Because she was born via c-section (and didn't get the "squeeze" of going through the birth canal), she had a little fluid on her lungs and was breathing a little fast, so she went to the NICU.
Eleanor spent four days in the NICU and was discharged only a day after me. Initially they were saying she might need to be there for up to three weeks, so when she made such a strong recovery so quickly, everyone was impressed! She is just so smart, strong, and beautiful! She started drinking out of a bottle day 3 (which was earlier than they expected) and was immediately breastfeeding--she is an eating champ! The nurses and doctors in the NICU were so impressed that her blood sugars were so stable (most babies of diabetics struggle in their first few days, but the docs said because I had managed my diabetes so well during pregnancy that she did better than most).
So that is how she got here... There have already been so many adventures with her in her short little 2-month life. I know I will be writing much more about her.
So, I just want to try to get back in the swing of blogging. I have so much to celebrate now, I don't think I have to worry about being a "debbie downer..." I hope I get some of my readers back. I cannot say enough positive things about the love and support you all provided me during those hard times. I am so excited to get back and catch back up with everyone. If you can forgive me for dropping off the face of the planet, leave me a comment!
Showing posts with label blogsphere. Show all posts
Showing posts with label blogsphere. Show all posts
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Home (bitter) Sweet Home
Well, I made it home. I tried to post from the road, but I was just too plum wore out to get it done... Sorry!
So, our adventure went as follows:
So, our adventure went as follows:
- Finished packing just as movers arrived on Wednesday morning.
- Movers were loading stuff in truck when Dad got to G'ville.
- G was actually helpful in packing and directing movers in their loading of stuff.
- Paid for a whole extra hour of movers' time because of the two-hour minimum when they only needed an hour to get my crap loaded.
- Went to copy place to print, sign, and get notarized our separation agreement.
- Got a half-ass one arm hug and mumble for a goodbye (he personifies cowardly asshat more and more).
- Went and got Subway with my dad and departed from G'ville without any major emotional breakdowns.
- Drove for maybe three hours and decided we had had enough driving for the day.
- Found a hotel with a restaurant and free WiFi (see, I intended to post).
- Ate dinner and fell asleep by 7 p.m. (I know, sad).
Day Two
- After a restless night of me and Dad being awake and asleep, we got up at 5 a.m. and were on the road by 6 a.m.
- We drove all day without anything really worth mentioning... We ate breakfast in Mississippi, didn't really eat lunch, made it into Louisiana before 2 p.m., and decided to haul all the way to Shreveport so we could get a little gambling in.
- Stopped for the night in Bosier City at 3 p.m.
- Gambled for an hour, won almost $50 at the craps table!!
- Ate dinner at the buffet and headed to the room by 6 p.m. We swore we would try to stay awake until 8 p.m. We failed at that attempt.
- Fell asleep before 7 p.m., woke up at 10:30 or so, stayed awake for four hours or so, and fell back asleep until 5:30 or so...
Day Three
- We were on the road again by 6 a.m. with less than 4 hours to get home!!
- Crossing the state line between Texas and Louisiana was emotional for me. It just really sunk in that this was really happening. I know my dad was appreciative that I didn't have any major emotional breakdowns on the trip, but I know he noticed the quiet tears as we crossed the state line.
- Arrived home and spent most of Friday doing nothing--I did help my dad download music for the firs time, went grocery shopping, that was about it.
So, then yesterday we had movers come and rearrange furniture upstairs and help us unload the truck. That took only 2 hours but cost $250... But, we got all my stuff to fit in my room upstairs and in the garage. My folks can still fit both their cars in the garage along with half of my crap!
After the movers were done, my mom helped me start unpacking. It went fairly well. We got all my clothes unpacked and even got my bathroom arranged. We got my new sheets washed to put on my new bed. The deal with the new bed is this, G and I ordered that bed a few months ago but we never slept on it because the box springs wouldn't fit upstairs in our town house, so we were just going to wait until we moved to use the new bed. We put the new sheets on and then mom started ragging on me about my pillows that they were too old and lumpy. She demanded that I pitch my old pillows and use some of her new ones. Then, she moved on to complaining about how dusty my desk was. She sent me to the bathroom to get a wet washcloth to deal with the dust.
Pair all of her nagging with the realization that our new bed was only going to be my new bed and the fact (although I didn't know this yet) that my blood sugar had dropped dangerously low, I had a meltdown at this point. I just started bawling and I couldn't stop. It was one of those cries that gets going so hard you can't really breathe. Well, my mom got bothered that I was crying and yelled at me more. I tried to communicate with her, but I was crying too hard. Luckily she figured out that I had low blood sugar and got me downstairs for some juice. It was pretty ugly though.
My mom is fabulous and my best friend, but she needs to work on her dealing with my tears. Anytime she finds me crying she asks, "Why are you crying?" Often times, the only real reason I am crying is the state of affairs of my life. There isn't always one specific thing that will set me off, and I think it is OK to just cry every once in a while. I understand that it hurts her to see me hurting, but I wish she would just hug my neck and let me cry without asking for an explanation. I talked to her a little bit about this yesterday, and I think she might be better about it in the future. We shall see.
On other fronts, I have a job interview Tuesday. I had applied at a local CC for their journalism department, but last I had heard they had filled the position. Then, literally as Dad and I were just driving out of town, I checked my e-mail on my phone and found an e-mail asking me if I could interview because the person they had hired had flaked on them. This was really symbolic for me. Here I was leaving my husband and my life with no clue as to what my future would hold, and I got an e-mail asking me to interview for a position that will really work well for me! I e-mailed back and fourth with the hiring professor and in the end, she even asked me to be sure and bring my social security card to the interview. How many job interviews require a SS card?? I took that as a good sign.
Then, when I got home, I checked my e-mail and found an e-mail from a big R1 school asking me to interview at an upcoming conference. This is the first time a school has contacted me about interviewing, and I was really excited about this. This too was a sign from God that everything is going to be OK.
So, please send LOTS of positive thoughts and prayers my way on Tuesday that this interview goes well and that I get the job. I still need prayers and positive thoughts that I get through my life drama too, but this is some new stuff worth talking about, and good stuff worth talking about, so I like that!
I hope to post more regularly now that I am a little settled in. I might take some pics of the unpacking process. I am also working on an ode to my dad. He just freaking ROCKS for so many reasons, and I need to write about that. I will also work on being a better commenter.
Oh yeah, one more thing. A friend of mine with whom I worked on my master's has started a blog. Go check her out: Stupid American. She rocks my socks off! Her stuff is often way above my head, but she always makes me think!
Thank you very much for all the support and love. I cannot really explain how much it helps and makes me smile and feel loved. I so appreciate the virtual hugs. I still need lots of hugs, so these really mean a lot to me. Thank you so much!
ttfn
Sunday, June 17, 2007
A celebration of sorts
Well, I am a craptastic blog friend these days.
Lara (my blog idol) only had one birthday wish and it was for us to celebrate someone else for her birthday.
I haven't done that yet.
As usual, I have an excuse.
Basically, my world is crumbling around me (an no, this is not just pregnancy hormones talking here). I am healthy and the pregnancy is fine, so no worries there. My personal life, on the other hand, is just sucking fabulously. The short short version is that in the last week my husband has told me he is so unhappy he has considered ending his own life, he is just tired of everything, he is afraid I am the source of his unhappiness, and he isn't sure if he wants to remain married to me. I am not ready to really talk about all this right now.
So, seeing as it is 4 a.m. and I am not sleeping (something really important to me and the developing baby inside me, mind you), I was trying to do anything but think and re-think over what all is going on right now. So, I turned to blogs.
I have made it to the Rs in my feed and I had finally been made to smile enough times that I decided I could write my celebration of my blog friends.
Guys, I really needed you tonight. Thank you for making me smile on a day when I wasn't sure I would be able to smile. I wasn't sure if I would smile for some time. But your stories made me smile once or twice.
I have some dark days ahead of me, I am afraid. I will need you guys to make me smile. So thank you!
Lara, I apologize this celebration was so overshadowed by my failures. I will do better for your birthday next year.
ttfn
Lara (my blog idol) only had one birthday wish and it was for us to celebrate someone else for her birthday.
I haven't done that yet.
As usual, I have an excuse.
Basically, my world is crumbling around me (an no, this is not just pregnancy hormones talking here). I am healthy and the pregnancy is fine, so no worries there. My personal life, on the other hand, is just sucking fabulously. The short short version is that in the last week my husband has told me he is so unhappy he has considered ending his own life, he is just tired of everything, he is afraid I am the source of his unhappiness, and he isn't sure if he wants to remain married to me. I am not ready to really talk about all this right now.
So, seeing as it is 4 a.m. and I am not sleeping (something really important to me and the developing baby inside me, mind you), I was trying to do anything but think and re-think over what all is going on right now. So, I turned to blogs.
I have made it to the Rs in my feed and I had finally been made to smile enough times that I decided I could write my celebration of my blog friends.
Guys, I really needed you tonight. Thank you for making me smile on a day when I wasn't sure I would be able to smile. I wasn't sure if I would smile for some time. But your stories made me smile once or twice.
I have some dark days ahead of me, I am afraid. I will need you guys to make me smile. So thank you!
Lara, I apologize this celebration was so overshadowed by my failures. I will do better for your birthday next year.
ttfn
Thursday, May 17, 2007
My Town
I wasn't tagged for this, but I volunteered for this one. I am not going to tag anyone either (mainly because I have no confidence that more than three people regularly read this thing), but I would LOVE IT if anyone who wants to will play too. Consider it a birthday present to me (that's right, my big fabulous wonderful birthday is Monday--the 21st! woo-hoo I love my birthday... oh right, meme)...
The Rules:
Add a direct link to your post below the name of the person who tagged you. Include the state and country you’re in.
List out your top 5 favorite places to eat at your location (locally).
Tag 5 other people (preferably from other countries/states) and let them know they’ve been tagged.
1.) Harry's. This fabulous little Cajun/seafood joint is pretty darned great! I will say it can be pricey, but it is usually worth it. My hubbie just dies for their jambalaya, and I am pretty fond of the etoufe (crawfish is best). The good news is, there are very few things we have eaten there that weren't great. And we eat there almost once a week, so we have tried a lot of things! It is fairly casual, the waitstaff is generally great, and it has prime-time location--next to Lillian's Music Store, my favorite bar these days!
2.) Dragonfly Sushi. This grand sushi place lives up to all the hype! This is another one that can be pricey, but if you play your cards right, it doesn't have to be. This place's whole gig (so they say) is to encourage sharing and family-style dining. So, the key here is for each person to pick just one or two things off the menu and for everyone to share share share! I highly recommend the Fire Me Up Wasabi Role, Gator Role, Crunch Role, and their cooked food isn't bad either! D'Fly also has prime location in Downtown, so that's pretty nice too!
3.) Conestoga's. Now this is actually in the next town over, but it is worth the drive! This is a great little country dining experience. You can get liver'n'onions (I refuse to do so, but for those who dig that yuk, I hear it's good), fried catfish, big'ol baked potatoes, sandwiches, burgers, and one of the best steaks I have had at a non-steakhouse kind of place... What I mean by that is that my mom and dad did a terrible thing to me and took me to lots of fancy (expensive) steak houses while I was growing up. I only ate fillet before I met my husband (and really still try to stick to that rule), and I only ate it at the kind of steak houses where your steak comes ala carte. So this little country bumkin kind of place didn't seem like the steak place for me, but man am I glad I took a chance and ordered the tenderfoot. It was spectacular!! Bottom line, it's all good there!
4.) Ashley's Pub. Here's the great thing about this place. You can get pub food or tex-mex! I am sure most of you are puzzled at this point, I know it sounds strange. But, when you are a tex-mex addict (which I am) and you are married to a man who detests tex-mex (but loves a great burger), this place is just too great! The only real downside to the place is that you have to pay for chips and salsa, which I think is a crock, but other than that the prices aren't bad, the food's always good, and the staff is friendly and accommodating. And did I mention peach margies?? Oh yeah, they have fabulous flavored margies (on the rocks, though). They also serve regular margies in the hugest glass/punch bowl thing I have ever seen. It comes with a ladle. I am all about mexican food and booze!
5.) **WARNING**OK, this last one is not actually in my town. It is in the town in which I used to live. I include it here for many reasons. If you get the chance to check this place out, consider yourself lucky!
Eskimo Joe's. I don't actually recommend this place because of the food, because the food just isn't all that great. I recommend this place because of the sentimental value it holds for me and so many other OSU alum. I will say their cheese fries (within the first five minutes of arrival at the table) are fabulous--so fabulous in fact that Barbara Bush made Bush Sr. endorse them while he was in office... The other thing you have to eat while at Joe's is a Little Joe. Now all of their burgers are actually great, so you can't go wrong with a burger. But, the Little Joe is a hangover cure in a sac. It is about the size of a McDonald's hamburger, it comes with MOP--mustard, onions (grilled into the patty), and pickles. You can get cheese. It is a very simple little classic. They are grilled on a flat grill (so no yucky flame broiled goo) and they are just great. It might take two or three to really kill the hangover, but they hold a special place in my heart.
Previous players:
Nicole (Sydney, Australia)
Velverse (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia)
LB (San Giovanni in Marignano, Italy)
Selba (Jakarta, Indonesia)
Olivia (London, England)
ML (Utah, USA)
J (California, USA)
CuriosityKiller (Hong Kong, SAR)
Shelli (Minnesota, USA)
Bluepaintred (Saskatchewan, Canada)
Avitable (Florida, USA)
Amy (California, USA)
Luin (New York, USA)
Tense Teacher (Mississippi, USA)
ffbgirl (Florida, USA)
ttfn
p.s., I am starving now!!
Much love to Tense Teacher for this fun little meme!
The Rules:
Add a direct link to your post below the name of the person who tagged you. Include the state and country you’re in.
List out your top 5 favorite places to eat at your location (locally).
Tag 5 other people (preferably from other countries/states) and let them know they’ve been tagged.
My 5 favorite places to eat locally:
1.) Harry's. This fabulous little Cajun/seafood joint is pretty darned great! I will say it can be pricey, but it is usually worth it. My hubbie just dies for their jambalaya, and I am pretty fond of the etoufe (crawfish is best). The good news is, there are very few things we have eaten there that weren't great. And we eat there almost once a week, so we have tried a lot of things! It is fairly casual, the waitstaff is generally great, and it has prime-time location--next to Lillian's Music Store, my favorite bar these days!
2.) Dragonfly Sushi. This grand sushi place lives up to all the hype! This is another one that can be pricey, but if you play your cards right, it doesn't have to be. This place's whole gig (so they say) is to encourage sharing and family-style dining. So, the key here is for each person to pick just one or two things off the menu and for everyone to share share share! I highly recommend the Fire Me Up Wasabi Role, Gator Role, Crunch Role, and their cooked food isn't bad either! D'Fly also has prime location in Downtown, so that's pretty nice too!
3.) Conestoga's. Now this is actually in the next town over, but it is worth the drive! This is a great little country dining experience. You can get liver'n'onions (I refuse to do so, but for those who dig that yuk, I hear it's good), fried catfish, big'ol baked potatoes, sandwiches, burgers, and one of the best steaks I have had at a non-steakhouse kind of place... What I mean by that is that my mom and dad did a terrible thing to me and took me to lots of fancy (expensive) steak houses while I was growing up. I only ate fillet before I met my husband (and really still try to stick to that rule), and I only ate it at the kind of steak houses where your steak comes ala carte. So this little country bumkin kind of place didn't seem like the steak place for me, but man am I glad I took a chance and ordered the tenderfoot. It was spectacular!! Bottom line, it's all good there!
4.) Ashley's Pub. Here's the great thing about this place. You can get pub food or tex-mex! I am sure most of you are puzzled at this point, I know it sounds strange. But, when you are a tex-mex addict (which I am) and you are married to a man who detests tex-mex (but loves a great burger), this place is just too great! The only real downside to the place is that you have to pay for chips and salsa, which I think is a crock, but other than that the prices aren't bad, the food's always good, and the staff is friendly and accommodating. And did I mention peach margies?? Oh yeah, they have fabulous flavored margies (on the rocks, though). They also serve regular margies in the hugest glass/punch bowl thing I have ever seen. It comes with a ladle. I am all about mexican food and booze!
5.) **WARNING**OK, this last one is not actually in my town. It is in the town in which I used to live. I include it here for many reasons. If you get the chance to check this place out, consider yourself lucky!
Eskimo Joe's. I don't actually recommend this place because of the food, because the food just isn't all that great. I recommend this place because of the sentimental value it holds for me and so many other OSU alum. I will say their cheese fries (within the first five minutes of arrival at the table) are fabulous--so fabulous in fact that Barbara Bush made Bush Sr. endorse them while he was in office... The other thing you have to eat while at Joe's is a Little Joe. Now all of their burgers are actually great, so you can't go wrong with a burger. But, the Little Joe is a hangover cure in a sac. It is about the size of a McDonald's hamburger, it comes with MOP--mustard, onions (grilled into the patty), and pickles. You can get cheese. It is a very simple little classic. They are grilled on a flat grill (so no yucky flame broiled goo) and they are just great. It might take two or three to really kill the hangover, but they hold a special place in my heart.
Previous players:
Nicole (Sydney, Australia)
Velverse (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia)
LB (San Giovanni in Marignano, Italy)
Selba (Jakarta, Indonesia)
Olivia (London, England)
ML (Utah, USA)
J (California, USA)
CuriosityKiller (Hong Kong, SAR)
Shelli (Minnesota, USA)
Bluepaintred (Saskatchewan, Canada)
Avitable (Florida, USA)
Amy (California, USA)
Luin (New York, USA)
Tense Teacher (Mississippi, USA)
ffbgirl (Florida, USA)
ttfn
p.s., I am starving now!!
Much love to Tense Teacher for this fun little meme!
A car pet
OK, Lara, of Life: The Ongoing Education, has had a tragedy in her world. She has lost her dear friend and pet, Melvin. Foul play is suspected in this tragic loss, but I am encouraging her to move onward and upward.
In light of the dangerous conditions in which Melvin may have suffered, I propose an alternative option for the next member of the family (they really are family members, right?)...
So, here he is... MT, Melvin Two. I think he will be able to fend off Ramon and handle the conditions of their environment. Lara, I hope this helps!
ttfn
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Blog Reader Survey
Check out my reader survey... I have no clue how many readers I have, but I took the survey and thought it was interesting, so I want to see some results on people who stumble onto my blog. I am a social scientist, I can't help myself!! Check it out!
Please take my blog reader survey!
ttfn
Please take my blog reader survey!
ttfn
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
My visual DNA
More kudos to Lara
Okay, I know I have posted about her in the past and I really worry that I am going to appear all single white female, but I swear, this is honest to God, from my heart.
Lara, of Life: The Ongoing Education, freaking rocks my socks off! I just cannot say enough good things about this woman! She makes an effort to comment on my blog every day. She is just so supportive and loving and really just an amazing friend to me. It makes me wish we didn't live across the country from each other. It also makes me wish I was a better blog friend to her.
Every morning I go to my email and am always giddy with excitement when I see a new comment from her (I am excited when I see any one's comments, but hers are usually the one that I can always count on to be there... if that makes sense). She is just so amazing!
I know, from reading her blog, she has her own life to worry about (and even devotes time to what her roommate has to worry about), but she still takes the time to send me words of encouragement. She just makes me feel loved and I am so appreciative!!
She is the best blogging friend a person could ask for. Beyond that, her blog freaking rocks socks too! She is such a great writer. She always finds the right way to say things. And she says them in a way that makes you want to keep reading.
My RSS feed has gotten rather lengthy, and, as a result, I have to usually pick and choose which ones I get to read daily and then which ones I catch up on when I have more time. Hers is one in the "must read daily" category. Her writing is just great, and I feel like I am missing something if I go a day or two without reading.
I just want to say thank you to Lara. She is really a valuable asset to the blogging world (and the real world too, but my interactions are limited to the blog world). Her comments are always kind and positive. Her writing is always inspiring. She is a committed friend who takes time to check in on her blog friends. She is just an amazing woman whom I aspire to be more like.
If you read my blog and you didn't stumble over to me from Lara's blog, go check her out. She is a rock star. She is my blog hero. I am just so thankful for her.
ttfn
Lara, of Life: The Ongoing Education, freaking rocks my socks off! I just cannot say enough good things about this woman! She makes an effort to comment on my blog every day. She is just so supportive and loving and really just an amazing friend to me. It makes me wish we didn't live across the country from each other. It also makes me wish I was a better blog friend to her.
Every morning I go to my email and am always giddy with excitement when I see a new comment from her (I am excited when I see any one's comments, but hers are usually the one that I can always count on to be there... if that makes sense). She is just so amazing!
I know, from reading her blog, she has her own life to worry about (and even devotes time to what her roommate has to worry about), but she still takes the time to send me words of encouragement. She just makes me feel loved and I am so appreciative!!
She is the best blogging friend a person could ask for. Beyond that, her blog freaking rocks socks too! She is such a great writer. She always finds the right way to say things. And she says them in a way that makes you want to keep reading.
My RSS feed has gotten rather lengthy, and, as a result, I have to usually pick and choose which ones I get to read daily and then which ones I catch up on when I have more time. Hers is one in the "must read daily" category. Her writing is just great, and I feel like I am missing something if I go a day or two without reading.
I just want to say thank you to Lara. She is really a valuable asset to the blogging world (and the real world too, but my interactions are limited to the blog world). Her comments are always kind and positive. Her writing is always inspiring. She is a committed friend who takes time to check in on her blog friends. She is just an amazing woman whom I aspire to be more like.
If you read my blog and you didn't stumble over to me from Lara's blog, go check her out. She is a rock star. She is my blog hero. I am just so thankful for her.
ttfn
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
Trying
OK. I can't believe I am going to type what I am about to type. That might make it feel really really real. I am actually literally nervous to type it out because then it is something more than a casual maybe iffee we will see kind of thing.
We. Are.Trying.
To get pregnant.
I can't believe it. I have spent the last almost ten years of my life trying to avoid getting pregnant. I used to make conversations about how sex would change if it were being performed for the purpose of procreation.
You wanna' know the really bad part? It took a conversation with my mom and her telling me she is ok with it before I was totally ok with it. I know my sister would just have a hey-day with that. I know I didn't need my mother's permission, but I feel much better now that I have it.
So I have quit smoking... I don't know if you can ever actually quit smoking, but I have stopped smoking. It was a hell of a lot easier than I expected, and I think that was because it wasn't for me. It was for my someday kiddo. They are way more important than smoking. I haven't completely quit drinking, I still have a cocktail every now and again and of course I drank at the bike weekend, but I have already cut back and as we progress that will go away too. This is only the second month I have been off birth control.
G is actually on board too. I thought it would take him longer to get OK with it, but he said he is OK. Last month I was off birth control by accident, but this month was a conscious choice made by both me and G. I happen to know I am ovulating right now, but I didn't share that with G... I am afraid if I tell him that much detail it will freak him out and make it too weird. I think this should just be fun and free for him. I can do the worrying for now. If this takes too long, then he can worry about some of the details with me, but for now, he just needs to enjoy.
So, any advice?? Should I start taking prenatal vitamins? Should I take fertility vitamins? Right now is the really casual not preventing stage... How long should we be in this stage before we move to a more serious stage of actively trying to get pregnant?
Also, I want to thank you bloggers. It is through reading from other mothers who were in the process of the Ph.D. that I finally decided I wasn't crazy to want this now. I have read about other women who could do this, so I think we can do it too. Maybe I am crazy, but I figure no one is completely ready, so why wait. I am really excited.
I even went online last night to look at a fertility calendar. That felt weird to do. Any other times I have thought about fertility was for the purpose of thinking about NOT getting pregnant. I even read about tips for increasing your chances to get pregnant. At other times in my life when I read those tips I would have done everything in my power to do the exact opposite. Lie with your hips up for 20 to 30 minutes after, huh... Before I would have analyzed that and figured out how to do the exact opposite, but not any more and that is a freeing feeling.
So I might not be able to blog about this much, I am just not sure... I hope that the trying part won't last too long. I am quite possibly the most impatient person alive, so you might read a lot about me getting tired of waiting. Oh well... I really want anyone who reads this and has some advice to share it. This isn't something I foresee myself talking about with people in the real world, so my people out in the blog world will be all I have. I hope to hear from you soon!!
ttfn
We. Are.Trying.
To get pregnant.
I can't believe it. I have spent the last almost ten years of my life trying to avoid getting pregnant. I used to make conversations about how sex would change if it were being performed for the purpose of procreation.
You wanna' know the really bad part? It took a conversation with my mom and her telling me she is ok with it before I was totally ok with it. I know my sister would just have a hey-day with that. I know I didn't need my mother's permission, but I feel much better now that I have it.
So I have quit smoking... I don't know if you can ever actually quit smoking, but I have stopped smoking. It was a hell of a lot easier than I expected, and I think that was because it wasn't for me. It was for my someday kiddo. They are way more important than smoking. I haven't completely quit drinking, I still have a cocktail every now and again and of course I drank at the bike weekend, but I have already cut back and as we progress that will go away too. This is only the second month I have been off birth control.
G is actually on board too. I thought it would take him longer to get OK with it, but he said he is OK. Last month I was off birth control by accident, but this month was a conscious choice made by both me and G. I happen to know I am ovulating right now, but I didn't share that with G... I am afraid if I tell him that much detail it will freak him out and make it too weird. I think this should just be fun and free for him. I can do the worrying for now. If this takes too long, then he can worry about some of the details with me, but for now, he just needs to enjoy.
So, any advice?? Should I start taking prenatal vitamins? Should I take fertility vitamins? Right now is the really casual not preventing stage... How long should we be in this stage before we move to a more serious stage of actively trying to get pregnant?
Also, I want to thank you bloggers. It is through reading from other mothers who were in the process of the Ph.D. that I finally decided I wasn't crazy to want this now. I have read about other women who could do this, so I think we can do it too. Maybe I am crazy, but I figure no one is completely ready, so why wait. I am really excited.
I even went online last night to look at a fertility calendar. That felt weird to do. Any other times I have thought about fertility was for the purpose of thinking about NOT getting pregnant. I even read about tips for increasing your chances to get pregnant. At other times in my life when I read those tips I would have done everything in my power to do the exact opposite. Lie with your hips up for 20 to 30 minutes after, huh... Before I would have analyzed that and figured out how to do the exact opposite, but not any more and that is a freeing feeling.
So I might not be able to blog about this much, I am just not sure... I hope that the trying part won't last too long. I am quite possibly the most impatient person alive, so you might read a lot about me getting tired of waiting. Oh well... I really want anyone who reads this and has some advice to share it. This isn't something I foresee myself talking about with people in the real world, so my people out in the blog world will be all I have. I hope to hear from you soon!!
ttfn
Thursday, April 19, 2007
I'm siiick...
OK, I am a slacker blogger and didn't blog while I was at my mom and dad's and now I think I have the flu. I am still going to try to do a thursday 13 later today... I just wanted to let you know, in case you were worried about me. I am ok, just fell off the blogging wagon for a few days. I will be back, I promise.
Monday, April 16, 2007
Friends or something like that...
In general, I feel so fortunate when I think about the friends that G and I have. We have some spectacular friends. Our friends generally go out of their way to be kind to us. Most of them. Most of the time.
But lately, G and I have been getting our feelings hurt by our friends, and I just don't know what to do about it.
G and I generally do most social things to which we are invited. Even when that means changing our plans that are usually cheaper and mean that we get to spend quality time together. We are usually somewhat amiable to do whatever the group wants to do. Our friends used to be that way, but lately not so much.
Just this weekend, while I was out of town, I talked to G while he was at our favorite bar, and I was shocked to find out that our friends had totally blown him off at the bar. He walked in, said hey, went to get his drink, socialized, the usual... The friends never made an attempt to spend time with him. I, being the overbearing wife that I am, even went so far as to ask the friends (via text) why they weren't talking to him, and they acted like, "oh, no big deal... We said hi as he walked in, but because he didn't run back to sit with us, we blew him off..." I am sure this hurt my feelings more than G's, but deep down it hurt his feelings too. And then there was the orange and blue game...
I posted a bulletin on the "gang's" page early last week asking about the game. Everybody was in except for one guy who had work to do... Then I went out of town, I assumed the plans would go ahead without me. But, on Friday night, the friends informed G that worker-guy had invited the other friends to go with him, leaving G in the cold for the game... Then when the others left in town for the game decided to go, they didn't call G and invite him until it was too late. He said he didn't want to meet them at the game and then play the game of trying to figure out where to meet up. That, again, hurt his feelings. He didn't say this out loud--as men don't really say things like that--but I knew he was hurt.
We have been going through things like this a lot lately. It has gotten to where if we don't do what "the cool kids" want to do, then they are ok with doing it without us. No compromise. It's their way or the highway. I just don't get that. We change our plans a lot to be with them, but they won't do that for us.
We have even found a new bar, closer to the house, cheaper prices, entertainment we like, but they aren't interested because this bar is beer only... Mind you, they drink beer occasionally but are usually liquor people. They complain about how much money they spend at our bar on those liquor drinks, so you would think that occasionally drinking beer and spending less money would be a good thing. I think if this had been their idea it would be ok...
Oh and the dinner thing... We all go out to eat a lot. We all need to save money. So when we invite worker boy to dinner, he often says he needs to save cash. But twice in the last month he has gone to dinner with another friend at a very expensive restaurant. When they invited us to this place, we said, no, we can't afford it. But they still go there... I even invited them over when I cooked, but they didn't want to come.
This really hurts my feelings and I don't know what to do about it other than just try not to let it bother me and appreciate the friends I have who don't hurt my feelings... But it still hurts my feelings.
Worker boy used to be our best friend. But, now that I think about it, he was our best friend when he needed us. He got his heart broken around new year's and for the first two months of the year we texted on a daily basis, went out for drinks at least three nights a week, rode bikes together every weekend, and really spent a lot of time together. Then, the one who broke his heart came back to him and now we are left in the cold.
I have tried to talk to him about it, but it hasn't seemed to work. The first few times I talked to him about it, he seemed to try to make an effort for a while. The last few times I talked to him about it, he hasn't really made an effort. I know I just need to give up. That is what G tells me to do.
It really hurts me feelings when all this goes on. It really hurts my feelings when they upset G. But it really makes me angry when they hurt G's feelings. He is the best friend a person could ever wish for! He is loyal and caring and would die for his friends. And these people are just throwing that away, and it makes me sad. And angry. I don't know what to do about it, so I am just writing to let out some of my frustrations. I hope I am just overreacting and that soon everything will be back to normal. But I am also afraid that they are going to piss G off to the point that he won't want everything to go back to normal...
I don't know... I am just going to end this by saying thank you. Thank you to the real friends that I have. Thank you to the people who don't care where we go or what we want to do, they just want to spend time with us. Thank you to the friends who need us. Thank you to the friends who accept us for who we are--geeky or fun or cool or none of the above. They just love us for us.
ttfn
oh and p.s. I wrote this for my myspace blog so I didn't even get into what my "friends" in the blog world mean to me. I really didn't even realize what a role this whole blogging thing would mean for me. I can't begin to describe what joy this brings to me. I love when I open up my gmail and see that I have comments on my blog. I love it that I feel like I really know people out in the blogsphere--even though I don't know the first names of most of them. I love it that I get to laugh out loud when I really need to laugh. This outlet for me has come to be a lot more than an exercise in writing... It really hit me while I was home with my parents this weekend just how big of a part in my life this blog really is. My parents have heard more about the blogs I read and their stories than about any of the "friends" I wrote about in the above post. Thank you my bloggy friends. You guys really mean a lot to me. I realize now that yall help me feel like I am not alone. The people who send me comments help me remember that I am likable and worth something. I really appreciate that more than I can express.
ttfn for real this time
But lately, G and I have been getting our feelings hurt by our friends, and I just don't know what to do about it.
G and I generally do most social things to which we are invited. Even when that means changing our plans that are usually cheaper and mean that we get to spend quality time together. We are usually somewhat amiable to do whatever the group wants to do. Our friends used to be that way, but lately not so much.
Just this weekend, while I was out of town, I talked to G while he was at our favorite bar, and I was shocked to find out that our friends had totally blown him off at the bar. He walked in, said hey, went to get his drink, socialized, the usual... The friends never made an attempt to spend time with him. I, being the overbearing wife that I am, even went so far as to ask the friends (via text) why they weren't talking to him, and they acted like, "oh, no big deal... We said hi as he walked in, but because he didn't run back to sit with us, we blew him off..." I am sure this hurt my feelings more than G's, but deep down it hurt his feelings too. And then there was the orange and blue game...
I posted a bulletin on the "gang's" page early last week asking about the game. Everybody was in except for one guy who had work to do... Then I went out of town, I assumed the plans would go ahead without me. But, on Friday night, the friends informed G that worker-guy had invited the other friends to go with him, leaving G in the cold for the game... Then when the others left in town for the game decided to go, they didn't call G and invite him until it was too late. He said he didn't want to meet them at the game and then play the game of trying to figure out where to meet up. That, again, hurt his feelings. He didn't say this out loud--as men don't really say things like that--but I knew he was hurt.
We have been going through things like this a lot lately. It has gotten to where if we don't do what "the cool kids" want to do, then they are ok with doing it without us. No compromise. It's their way or the highway. I just don't get that. We change our plans a lot to be with them, but they won't do that for us.
We have even found a new bar, closer to the house, cheaper prices, entertainment we like, but they aren't interested because this bar is beer only... Mind you, they drink beer occasionally but are usually liquor people. They complain about how much money they spend at our bar on those liquor drinks, so you would think that occasionally drinking beer and spending less money would be a good thing. I think if this had been their idea it would be ok...
Oh and the dinner thing... We all go out to eat a lot. We all need to save money. So when we invite worker boy to dinner, he often says he needs to save cash. But twice in the last month he has gone to dinner with another friend at a very expensive restaurant. When they invited us to this place, we said, no, we can't afford it. But they still go there... I even invited them over when I cooked, but they didn't want to come.
This really hurts my feelings and I don't know what to do about it other than just try not to let it bother me and appreciate the friends I have who don't hurt my feelings... But it still hurts my feelings.
Worker boy used to be our best friend. But, now that I think about it, he was our best friend when he needed us. He got his heart broken around new year's and for the first two months of the year we texted on a daily basis, went out for drinks at least three nights a week, rode bikes together every weekend, and really spent a lot of time together. Then, the one who broke his heart came back to him and now we are left in the cold.
I have tried to talk to him about it, but it hasn't seemed to work. The first few times I talked to him about it, he seemed to try to make an effort for a while. The last few times I talked to him about it, he hasn't really made an effort. I know I just need to give up. That is what G tells me to do.
It really hurts me feelings when all this goes on. It really hurts my feelings when they upset G. But it really makes me angry when they hurt G's feelings. He is the best friend a person could ever wish for! He is loyal and caring and would die for his friends. And these people are just throwing that away, and it makes me sad. And angry. I don't know what to do about it, so I am just writing to let out some of my frustrations. I hope I am just overreacting and that soon everything will be back to normal. But I am also afraid that they are going to piss G off to the point that he won't want everything to go back to normal...
I don't know... I am just going to end this by saying thank you. Thank you to the real friends that I have. Thank you to the people who don't care where we go or what we want to do, they just want to spend time with us. Thank you to the friends who need us. Thank you to the friends who accept us for who we are--geeky or fun or cool or none of the above. They just love us for us.
ttfn
oh and p.s. I wrote this for my myspace blog so I didn't even get into what my "friends" in the blog world mean to me. I really didn't even realize what a role this whole blogging thing would mean for me. I can't begin to describe what joy this brings to me. I love when I open up my gmail and see that I have comments on my blog. I love it that I feel like I really know people out in the blogsphere--even though I don't know the first names of most of them. I love it that I get to laugh out loud when I really need to laugh. This outlet for me has come to be a lot more than an exercise in writing... It really hit me while I was home with my parents this weekend just how big of a part in my life this blog really is. My parents have heard more about the blogs I read and their stories than about any of the "friends" I wrote about in the above post. Thank you my bloggy friends. You guys really mean a lot to me. I realize now that yall help me feel like I am not alone. The people who send me comments help me remember that I am likable and worth something. I really appreciate that more than I can express.
ttfn for real this time
Monday, April 9, 2007
Vote for Life: The Ongoing Education
OK, I nominated my "blog-friend" for a Blogger's Choice Awards for the "Blogitzer" Award--an award for the blog with the best writing, kind of like a Pulitzer for Blog's.
This blogger rocks my socks off. I have blogged about her a lot. I cannot entirely describe what it is, but her blog just blows my mind. She is the reason I started blogging. Her blog really showed me the power of blogging. In short, I just think she and her blog are amazing!! I really think she deserves to win. Whether she is blogging about the good, the bad, or the ugly, her blog is always very well written. She deserves the award. Go vote for her. Go right now.
The only bad part about this is that I think she might be one of only like 5 people who even read my blog, but if you happen to stumble upon this post, please go vote for Life: The Ongoing Education.
ttfn
This blogger rocks my socks off. I have blogged about her a lot. I cannot entirely describe what it is, but her blog just blows my mind. She is the reason I started blogging. Her blog really showed me the power of blogging. In short, I just think she and her blog are amazing!! I really think she deserves to win. Whether she is blogging about the good, the bad, or the ugly, her blog is always very well written. She deserves the award. Go vote for her. Go right now.
The only bad part about this is that I think she might be one of only like 5 people who even read my blog, but if you happen to stumble upon this post, please go vote for Life: The Ongoing Education.
ttfn
Saturday, April 7, 2007
Thursday Thirteen
OK, I know it is not Thursday. But I wanted to get started on this so I am posting this one a few days late. Will this get me kicked out of the Thursday Thirteen club?
Please read below all about some of my firsts... I don't know if each Thursday 13 is supposed to have a theme, but this one does...
Get the Thursday Thirteen code here!
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
Please read below all about some of my firsts... I don't know if each Thursday 13 is supposed to have a theme, but this one does...
 |
2. I took my first motorcycle riding lesson about two weeks ago. I did not drop the bike or even come close! I eventually even put my feet on the pegs! I tried to get into second gear, but neutral got in the way (damn green light!). I hope to be able to ride around the block by Leesburg. 3. I am going to Chicago this week to present a paper I wrote about political parties and the way they discuss women candidates and leaders in the parties’ news releases. I hope the paper is well received! Oh, and this is the first time I will be going to a conference REALLY ALONE—all the other ones at which I have presented I have had someone I know there. Yikes! 4. I got my second ear hole pierced last week. This is not technically a first, but a first in a long time seeing as I think I was 8 the last time I tried to pierce the second holes! 5. I purchased a bed for the first time ever this week. It is a king-size plush super pillow top and we are going to LOVE it! I was shocked to find out how much king-size sheets cost. 6. I put a blog roll on my blog this week. That was an accomplishment in and of itself. I thought I was going to have to e-mail someone who already had one and ask them how they got that. Luckily, I didn’t—I would have been VERY embarrassed to find out how easy it was. 7. Okay, the rest of these won’t be recent firsts because I just haven’t done any more new things lately… I took my first insulin shot at 13—February of 1995 (yeah, do the math). I have been insulin dependent the entire time I have been diabetic and have always administered my own meds. 8. My first car was a 1994 Ford Escort and my friends said it was pink, but I said it was magenta! It was a two-door five speed. I drove the hell out of that thing. I am still a terrible driver (see next first). 9. My first really bad wreck was Labor Day ’06. It was a hit and run in which the other car hit my driver’s side rear quarter panel (I was pulling out of my apartment complex to turn left, they were in the lane closest to me—would have been behind me if I had turned right). My car spun around 180 degrees. I thought it wasn’t that bad. I reversed to get out of the road, made sure I was OK, then drove back across the road into my complex. No one stopped to render aid. Luckily I was OK, but it has always bothered me that the other driver drove off and no one stopped. It was all so crazy that I couldn’t even tell the cops what the other car looked like other than white and four door… Maybe had someone stopped they could have helped me out there. So, then I called the hubbie and jim (my own personal first responder). They showed up just before the cops. Someone did call 911 for me, at least. I wouldn’t go in the ambulance because I thought I was OK… I was WRONG! Within the hour, I could barely move my neck and my back felt like it was moving not under my direction… So I went in the next day to find out I had whiplash and a sprained lumbar. They sent me to a chiropractor and I have been seeing the chiropractor since then. We have since discovered that, as a result of the wreck, I have a protruding disc at L4-L5. I will probably have back problems for the rest of my life. That pisses me off. 10. I don’t remember my first kiss. Isn’t that sad? I keep going back and fourth in my memory between the only two boys I kissed in all of junior high and can’t remember which one happened first. I think it was the boy from church, but then I really think it was the alterna-boy who really had a crush on my best friend. 11. My first job was at the local dry cleaners. My sister had worked there as her first job, too. They were the only people we knew willing to hire a 15-year-old. I took in clothes, tagged them, brought people their clean clothes… All in all it was pretty easy. 12. My first apartment was in the ghetto. Not just ghetto… GHETTO! I went to a small private school where most of the students were living off Mommy and Daddy. My mommy and daddy also supported me but did so with more limits than most people at my school… So I lived farther away from campus (thus avoiding $1,000/month rent) and lived in the ghetto. But I made the best of that place. Virtually everything in that apartment was given to me. My mom’s work friend gave me a couch, coffee table, side table, and vacuum. My sister gave me all sorts of kitchen stuff—including a kitchen table. My grandma gave me a bed, someone gave me a washer and dryer… Literally, I bought NOTHING to furnish that apartment. It rocked. I still have a lot of those freebies. I am sitting on the world’s greatest free couch as I type (I think it might not make the next move and that makes me sad). 13. This is my first Thursday Thirteen Post. Please tell me what you think. Am I getting the idea of them right? Please let me know. Links to other Thursday Thirteens!1. Lara (the only one I actually regularly read, so please let me know if you have one too) 2. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!) |
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
Thursday, April 5, 2007
Blog Roll
Check it out!!! I figured out how to list the blogs to which I subscribe!!! These blogs are fabulous! I stumbled onto most of them through the blog rolls of others. If you read me and you have a blog and you aren't on my list, leave a comment and I will read you too!! Sounds like a plan to me!
ttfn
ttfn
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Dateline Life's Education
Dateline Life's Education... I guess that is what I will call this because that is the form Lara followed for her interview and she is where I got this... I am going to try to re-enter the blogsphere as a writer and this little interview is my way of jumping back in. So, the background. I read Life: The Ongoing Education almost daily. Last week some time, the topic was an interview of sorts. This stemmed from Mama Tulip interviewing Sandra from Sunshine Scribe. Sandra answered Mama T's five questions and asked her readers to volunteer to be interviewed... One of her readers is Lara, who was interviewed and decided to allow her readers to volunteer to be interviewed. So... here we are...
1. Why did you start blogging?
Well, I think it was about Christmas time and I wasn't working, I wasn't really sleeping, so I started searching for Blogs about Hillary Clinton. What I wound up finding was the mommy blogs or something like that. I started reading and going from one blog to the next based on a blogger's list of "friends." I wound up finding Atomic Tumor and reading his story of the loss of his wife. I also stumbled onto the aforementioned Life: The Ongoing Education and read her depression series. While I am usually not into dark subject matter (I consider myself very positive and try to surround myself with positive thoughts), these two blogs in particular really struck me. I was so impressed with the way these two writers could shed their souls for the world to read on the Internet. I was also moved by the responses these bloggers got from their readers.
I think it might have been partially selfish on my part in that I wanted to be able to share my life and troubles and joys, and I wanted the answers and support and comments from random strangers. I thought blogging about my life would be a great way to keep a journal of sorts and work on my writing skills and just be a good habit to have. I also hoped to eventually blog about my teaching, but the blog started during this hellish period of my life during which I am on a research assistantship and discovering that I don't at all enjoy research and that I passionately love teaching... So hopefully this summer, when I am teaching again, I will be able to blog about my teaching and share that joy.
2. What is your most prized possession?
This is a hard one. I don't really have a prized possession. My immediate thought is my computer... But not because it is a nice or fancy computer, but rather because of what is in the computer (or on the hard drive). I so value my research and writing and teaching materials. They are on my computer. I have conference papers and class papers that I have researched and pain-stakingly written. I have my thesis that I worked on for two years and went on to present at my very first academic conference. I have code books that I have created that have impressed other academic types. I have proposals for papers that will become great conference papers. I have a proposal to examine the news coverage of the last three Supreme Court nominees, an examination looking at source selection in the coverage and looking for gender differences in the coverage of the three nominees. I have a paper that is currently under review at the largest journalism education conference. This paper looked at agenda setting in newspaper editorials about Bush and Blair before and during the Iraq War. I have a paper that has been accepted by the International Communication Association that looked at framing of Bush and Blair in newspaper editorials before and during the Iraq War.
I don't mean to put my vita up here, but I guess I don't hate research quite as much as I have been feeling lately. I do enjoy creating research. I just don't enjoy the research I am doing for my assistantship right now. This was probably a good thing for me then. But the bottom line of this is that my most prized possessions are the things I have worked hard to create, my research. I guess I don't hate research after all.
3. When, in the last 24 hours, did you feel happiest?
This is another hard one... In the last 24 hours, I have slept a lot. Watched some TV. Eaten a few meals with my husband. Snuggled with him in bed. Ridden on his motorcycle. Gone to work. Gone to the chiropractor. Gone to our friend's house for drinks and chatting. When was I the most happy?
I would have to say in the little moments. My husband does the nicest things like send me text messages throughout the day saying things like "I love you baby baby." He kisses me goodnight and tells me he loves me. He kisses me hello when he gets home from work. He brings me so much joy and happiness. I never thought someone would love me the way he does. But he really does love me more than I knew any one person could love another.
My mom and dad are very happily married and still in love after 30+ years of marriage. But I really think Garrett loves me even more than my dad loves my mom. My mom might love my dad as much as Garrett loves me. I know that sounds weird or sappy or something. But it is just unreal the love I feel from him. And I try hard every day to love him as much or in the same way he does me, and I know I love him alot, but I don't know for sure that I am capable of loving him as much as he loves me. I sometimes worry that that will cause problems, but I don't think it has yet... We work. We really work.
And we work hard at our marriage. I know we have only been married one year, and that the hard parts are still to come, but I think we are building good habits of working hard at our marriage so it continues to work. So the bottom line here is that I am happiest when I am reminded of my husband's love for me. I hope that isn't selfish or stupid, but it's the truth. I hope it doesn't make me codependent or something like that. But it's the truth.
4. If you had to choose another historical era in which to live, which would you choose?
I think I would have wanted to live back in the days of parasols and carriages and petticoats and fragility. Sort of.
I am very fragile. I am delicate. I can appreciate a time when women were expected to be fragile and delicate. And quiet. That is where the sort of comes in. I cannot imagine living in an era in which I wouldn't have the right to speak my mind, or vote, or have personal choice in methods of birth control. But if I could be fragile and delicate and taken care of while still having all those freedoms, I would be happy! I like being taken care of. I like being a wife. I like being babied and loved. I prefer to not sweat, to not do heaving lifting, and to not do manual labor. I like it that I do the dishes and my husband takes out the trash. But I also like it that I am in pursuit of a career. I like it that I have hopes to have that career and a family. I read blogs of working mothers, and I am inspired that I too will be able to work as a professor and raise my kids.
So I am really glad that I live in this era. And I think part of what they call the "third wave" of feminism allows me to be fragile and delicate along with those freedoms. I can do dishes and have my husband take out the trash and I can work toward a Ph.D. and still want to become a mom. I love that I can have it both ways.
5. With what cartoon character do you best identify?
This is another hard one... I would like to say Cinderella, but she is just my favorite cartoon character. Sometimes I feel a lot like Meg from Family Guy. I feel frumpy and geeky and weird a lot of the time. But I don't think that's the one either. Sometimes I am a lot like Sponge Bob. I really do try to stay positive. I think that is one of my best qualities. I am a firm believer in the power of positive thinking. I use it every day. And I try to influence others to be positive. I think Sponge Bob is pretty darn positive. He tries to see the best in people (or sea creatures), and I try to see the best in people. It is amazing what being positive will do for you.
So I guess that's it for my interview. If anyone happens to read this and wants to be interviewed, leave me a comment. I will send you five questions and you can answer them in your blog. Maybe I will have a reader or two... Who knows.
ttfn
1. Why did you start blogging?
Well, I think it was about Christmas time and I wasn't working, I wasn't really sleeping, so I started searching for Blogs about Hillary Clinton. What I wound up finding was the mommy blogs or something like that. I started reading and going from one blog to the next based on a blogger's list of "friends." I wound up finding Atomic Tumor and reading his story of the loss of his wife. I also stumbled onto the aforementioned Life: The Ongoing Education and read her depression series. While I am usually not into dark subject matter (I consider myself very positive and try to surround myself with positive thoughts), these two blogs in particular really struck me. I was so impressed with the way these two writers could shed their souls for the world to read on the Internet. I was also moved by the responses these bloggers got from their readers.
I think it might have been partially selfish on my part in that I wanted to be able to share my life and troubles and joys, and I wanted the answers and support and comments from random strangers. I thought blogging about my life would be a great way to keep a journal of sorts and work on my writing skills and just be a good habit to have. I also hoped to eventually blog about my teaching, but the blog started during this hellish period of my life during which I am on a research assistantship and discovering that I don't at all enjoy research and that I passionately love teaching... So hopefully this summer, when I am teaching again, I will be able to blog about my teaching and share that joy.
2. What is your most prized possession?
This is a hard one. I don't really have a prized possession. My immediate thought is my computer... But not because it is a nice or fancy computer, but rather because of what is in the computer (or on the hard drive). I so value my research and writing and teaching materials. They are on my computer. I have conference papers and class papers that I have researched and pain-stakingly written. I have my thesis that I worked on for two years and went on to present at my very first academic conference. I have code books that I have created that have impressed other academic types. I have proposals for papers that will become great conference papers. I have a proposal to examine the news coverage of the last three Supreme Court nominees, an examination looking at source selection in the coverage and looking for gender differences in the coverage of the three nominees. I have a paper that is currently under review at the largest journalism education conference. This paper looked at agenda setting in newspaper editorials about Bush and Blair before and during the Iraq War. I have a paper that has been accepted by the International Communication Association that looked at framing of Bush and Blair in newspaper editorials before and during the Iraq War.
I don't mean to put my vita up here, but I guess I don't hate research quite as much as I have been feeling lately. I do enjoy creating research. I just don't enjoy the research I am doing for my assistantship right now. This was probably a good thing for me then. But the bottom line of this is that my most prized possessions are the things I have worked hard to create, my research. I guess I don't hate research after all.
3. When, in the last 24 hours, did you feel happiest?
This is another hard one... In the last 24 hours, I have slept a lot. Watched some TV. Eaten a few meals with my husband. Snuggled with him in bed. Ridden on his motorcycle. Gone to work. Gone to the chiropractor. Gone to our friend's house for drinks and chatting. When was I the most happy?
I would have to say in the little moments. My husband does the nicest things like send me text messages throughout the day saying things like "I love you baby baby." He kisses me goodnight and tells me he loves me. He kisses me hello when he gets home from work. He brings me so much joy and happiness. I never thought someone would love me the way he does. But he really does love me more than I knew any one person could love another.
My mom and dad are very happily married and still in love after 30+ years of marriage. But I really think Garrett loves me even more than my dad loves my mom. My mom might love my dad as much as Garrett loves me. I know that sounds weird or sappy or something. But it is just unreal the love I feel from him. And I try hard every day to love him as much or in the same way he does me, and I know I love him alot, but I don't know for sure that I am capable of loving him as much as he loves me. I sometimes worry that that will cause problems, but I don't think it has yet... We work. We really work.
And we work hard at our marriage. I know we have only been married one year, and that the hard parts are still to come, but I think we are building good habits of working hard at our marriage so it continues to work. So the bottom line here is that I am happiest when I am reminded of my husband's love for me. I hope that isn't selfish or stupid, but it's the truth. I hope it doesn't make me codependent or something like that. But it's the truth.
4. If you had to choose another historical era in which to live, which would you choose?
I think I would have wanted to live back in the days of parasols and carriages and petticoats and fragility. Sort of.
I am very fragile. I am delicate. I can appreciate a time when women were expected to be fragile and delicate. And quiet. That is where the sort of comes in. I cannot imagine living in an era in which I wouldn't have the right to speak my mind, or vote, or have personal choice in methods of birth control. But if I could be fragile and delicate and taken care of while still having all those freedoms, I would be happy! I like being taken care of. I like being a wife. I like being babied and loved. I prefer to not sweat, to not do heaving lifting, and to not do manual labor. I like it that I do the dishes and my husband takes out the trash. But I also like it that I am in pursuit of a career. I like it that I have hopes to have that career and a family. I read blogs of working mothers, and I am inspired that I too will be able to work as a professor and raise my kids.
So I am really glad that I live in this era. And I think part of what they call the "third wave" of feminism allows me to be fragile and delicate along with those freedoms. I can do dishes and have my husband take out the trash and I can work toward a Ph.D. and still want to become a mom. I love that I can have it both ways.
5. With what cartoon character do you best identify?
This is another hard one... I would like to say Cinderella, but she is just my favorite cartoon character. Sometimes I feel a lot like Meg from Family Guy. I feel frumpy and geeky and weird a lot of the time. But I don't think that's the one either. Sometimes I am a lot like Sponge Bob. I really do try to stay positive. I think that is one of my best qualities. I am a firm believer in the power of positive thinking. I use it every day. And I try to influence others to be positive. I think Sponge Bob is pretty darn positive. He tries to see the best in people (or sea creatures), and I try to see the best in people. It is amazing what being positive will do for you.
So I guess that's it for my interview. If anyone happens to read this and wants to be interviewed, leave me a comment. I will send you five questions and you can answer them in your blog. Maybe I will have a reader or two... Who knows.
ttfn
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
My long-lost twin in the blogosphere...
I think I found my long-lost twin sister or something out in the blogosphere... I don't want to sound crazy or like I am getting all single-white-female on this particular blogger, but after reading her weekend posts (which she was good enough to do while I was basically worthless this weekend), I saw so many similarities that, first, I thought about e-mailing my mom and telling her she had to read this girl's blog because she was so like me, and, then, I decided I just had to blog about her a little bit. She has left a few comments and I hope she doesn't mind or think I am blog-stalking her or something... I am not. I swear!
So, first, I mentioned this blog the other day, Life: The Ongoing Education. When you go to her site, leave her the requested comment about what you did this weekend (or make it what you did on Monday or what you plan to do this upcoming weekend, that could be fun!), but also check out the info about Her Bad Auction. The blogger who writes Her Bad Mother (another GREAT blog), along with another blogger is holding an auction... Well go read about it as I am afraid I will screw up the story. Please go check it out to relieve my guilt for not getting the whole story on here.
So why Lara (Life's author) is like my long lost twin. Where to begin. I was catching up from my slacking over the weekend on blog reading and she posted one with interesting quotes. I initially skimmed--I don't usually get or appreciate some of the "great" quotes... But hers were some of the same ones I would select, if I were creative enough to actually think long and hard about quotes that I thought were insightful or interesting enough to write down again... So that was a first sign, but then she mentions her Do, Due, Done list and I am feeling like we were separated at birth.
You see, I am a list maker. No, really. Not like people make them at work, use them occasionally kind of thing. I am a real list maker. I use them for everything, and they are really the only way I can function as a responsible member of society. If you go read Lara's entry about her lists, some of this will sound familiar... I make lists when I go on a trip. Packing lists will be in sections--sometimes I will double-make the list--one by day, one by activity or some other organizing factor. This list always contains the exact number of socks, bras, and underwear I will need for the trip (usually the number of days gone plus the number of days gone minus two or four, depending on the length of the trip)...
I also make lists for school. While in undergrad, I had a dry erase board on my closet door that had each course I was taking with space below it for the stuff to be done for that course. I also had space for the sorority, and any other activities I needed at the time. It was neurotic (according to my roommates). So now, I keep this list in my planner. When times get too busy, I supplement the planner with a sheet of notebook paper that I paperclip to the planner. When I get behind, the paper stays on the week where things were last checked off. That is my way of punishing myself for being behind. I have to turn back the pages to see where I left off and what else is on my list. I usually make one about a month or a month and a half before the end of the term so I can get an idea of how hellish things will get.
Sounding familiar?? Those of you who read Lara's post might be thinking I am copying her or something, but I am not. Hmmm, I just had a thought... Maybe Lara and I are not the only ones like this? Maybe this is a characteristic of smart, ambitious, successful young women. Anyone want to share his or her list making tendencies? Just a thought.
Okay, so I am not so good at blogging on the weekends, but maybe that is OK. I will try harder next weekend.
ttfn
So, first, I mentioned this blog the other day, Life: The Ongoing Education. When you go to her site, leave her the requested comment about what you did this weekend (or make it what you did on Monday or what you plan to do this upcoming weekend, that could be fun!), but also check out the info about Her Bad Auction. The blogger who writes Her Bad Mother (another GREAT blog), along with another blogger is holding an auction... Well go read about it as I am afraid I will screw up the story. Please go check it out to relieve my guilt for not getting the whole story on here.
So why Lara (Life's author) is like my long lost twin. Where to begin. I was catching up from my slacking over the weekend on blog reading and she posted one with interesting quotes. I initially skimmed--I don't usually get or appreciate some of the "great" quotes... But hers were some of the same ones I would select, if I were creative enough to actually think long and hard about quotes that I thought were insightful or interesting enough to write down again... So that was a first sign, but then she mentions her Do, Due, Done list and I am feeling like we were separated at birth.
You see, I am a list maker. No, really. Not like people make them at work, use them occasionally kind of thing. I am a real list maker. I use them for everything, and they are really the only way I can function as a responsible member of society. If you go read Lara's entry about her lists, some of this will sound familiar... I make lists when I go on a trip. Packing lists will be in sections--sometimes I will double-make the list--one by day, one by activity or some other organizing factor. This list always contains the exact number of socks, bras, and underwear I will need for the trip (usually the number of days gone plus the number of days gone minus two or four, depending on the length of the trip)...
I also make lists for school. While in undergrad, I had a dry erase board on my closet door that had each course I was taking with space below it for the stuff to be done for that course. I also had space for the sorority, and any other activities I needed at the time. It was neurotic (according to my roommates). So now, I keep this list in my planner. When times get too busy, I supplement the planner with a sheet of notebook paper that I paperclip to the planner. When I get behind, the paper stays on the week where things were last checked off. That is my way of punishing myself for being behind. I have to turn back the pages to see where I left off and what else is on my list. I usually make one about a month or a month and a half before the end of the term so I can get an idea of how hellish things will get.
Sounding familiar?? Those of you who read Lara's post might be thinking I am copying her or something, but I am not. Hmmm, I just had a thought... Maybe Lara and I are not the only ones like this? Maybe this is a characteristic of smart, ambitious, successful young women. Anyone want to share his or her list making tendencies? Just a thought.
Okay, so I am not so good at blogging on the weekends, but maybe that is OK. I will try harder next weekend.
ttfn
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