Well, I am a craptastic blog friend these days.
Lara (my blog idol) only had one birthday wish and it was for us to celebrate someone else for her birthday.
I haven't done that yet.
As usual, I have an excuse.
Basically, my world is crumbling around me (an no, this is not just pregnancy hormones talking here). I am healthy and the pregnancy is fine, so no worries there. My personal life, on the other hand, is just sucking fabulously. The short short version is that in the last week my husband has told me he is so unhappy he has considered ending his own life, he is just tired of everything, he is afraid I am the source of his unhappiness, and he isn't sure if he wants to remain married to me. I am not ready to really talk about all this right now.
So, seeing as it is 4 a.m. and I am not sleeping (something really important to me and the developing baby inside me, mind you), I was trying to do anything but think and re-think over what all is going on right now. So, I turned to blogs.
I have made it to the Rs in my feed and I had finally been made to smile enough times that I decided I could write my celebration of my blog friends.
Guys, I really needed you tonight. Thank you for making me smile on a day when I wasn't sure I would be able to smile. I wasn't sure if I would smile for some time. But your stories made me smile once or twice.
I have some dark days ahead of me, I am afraid. I will need you guys to make me smile. So thank you!
Lara, I apologize this celebration was so overshadowed by my failures. I will do better for your birthday next year.
ttfn
6 comments:
you are a beautiful and wonderful friend, and i'm sorry you are hurting so much right now. i hope you know that i am truly here for anything you need, and i would be more than happy to help however i can.
as for giving you a smile, i'll work on inserting some fart jokes into my sunday google-age or something. ;)
I've just started reading your blog so I feel a bit intrusive in commenting on such a personal post, but I feel we have a connection because we are both pregnant at the same time.
I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for what you are going through. If there is anything I can do, please let me know.
((big hugs))
I've just popped in over here and I'm so sorry to hear about what is going on.
Peace for you right now. That's what I'm sending your way.
peace.
Wow. Life can sometimes suck. You're going to be an inspiration for getting me off the crappy, whining posts, and back into gear. You need good reads. Now, I just have to figure out what that means for me...
Oh, my. My heart is going out to you right now.
Be safe, make sure your husband is safe, and talk to real life friends, too. Real-time conversation and someone to hug you is important at times like these.
Sending hugs and good thoughts your way.
Oh wow, I'm so sorry. I will keep you in my thoughts.
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