So I didn't make it to the singles event tonight... Bummer. But I am going to try to attend the Wednesday night activities at Eleanor's school (a local baptist church) this week... I just feel like I'm waiting for God to tell me where He wants me worshipping...
At the superchurch they are doing a devotional about God's vision for us. The first reading was basically that we are all guilty and that God loves us anyways, hence sending Jesus to die for our sins. It got me thinking that part of my hesitation to plug in at a church is feeling guilty that I know I don't lead the life God always wants for me... But clearly He knows I screw up and all He wants is for me to pay attention to Him. So I'm going to try to focus simply on that--paying attention to God.
I'm not going to become the perfect Christian overnight so I need to take it one step at a time. Step number one will be paying attention. Anyone have tips for paying attention?
I've heard people talk alot about hearing God and I've never felt like I heard Him. This frustrates me and makes me upset with myself. I don't blame God that I can't head him, I blame me. I must be listening wrong. So I need tips on that too. How do I listen for God better? Any feedback is appreciated!
Also, this is the first post I am texting in so I apologize for type-os or if this sucks... I'm trying here...

So I Am going to try blogging again... We will see if I can get back in the swing of it.

Where to begin? Well Eleanor turned 3 yesterday! She is the joy of my life, of course! If I can figure out how to post a pic, I will... So I have had my ups and downs but 2011 is looking up. Part of the downs of 2010 was getting out of an abusive relationship. Besides getting out, the other upside was finding a church home. So in the aftermath of the breakup I started attending a superchurch and dove in full force. It felt great. I found a place that I felt accepted and loved and I could actually be myself. It was great for a while. I honestly know I allowed God into my life. But. There's always a but. I got lazy, I let myself be intimidated, I made the wrong choices and I stopped going. I made excuses... I just unplugged--so to speak. But I've felt the call to plug back in for a time now. I said I was church shopping but I haven't really shopped...

So I am hoping to go to a new single parent event on Monday night. They are starting a new series and I think this is my chance to plug back in. So if you pray, please pray I find my way to that event... Also, the church posted a cool devotional and I may try to use this blog to write my reactions to the devotional. I don't know.